


Life is about surviving and more

by YuriKei



Category: The 100 (TV), Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Crossover, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 15:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 29,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14918388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuriKei/pseuds/YuriKei
Summary: Clarke woke up in a different world than she remembered. There was no worldwide radiation nor angry Grounders attacking her. What's also new was that she had sharper canines and thirst for human blood.She once said that 'Life is about more than just surviving.' but who was she kidding?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is AU and the happenings in The 100 timeline slightly diverged after Lexa's death. I didn't throw in S5 because it's not yet finished. The Praimfaiya in S4 finale didn't happen. As for The Twilight story, majority is quite canon...I think.
> 
> This story is more of Clarke's brief snippets of adventures in the new, somewhat peaceful world based on the Twilight Saga. 
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> This is my first work. Please go easy on me. :)
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters, fictional setting, and other related items are not mine and belongs to their respective owners. If I did own them, Lexa wouldn't have died from a maunon bullet that wasn't even aimed at her. That's too simple for a great Commander. Shame on them. :)

“Are you sure you want to go?”

Clarke zipped her bag and hoisted it up to her shoulders. “Am sure.”

Abigail pursed her lips. “Stay out of the Volturi’s way,” she eventually sighed and embraced the younger blonde tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Mom,” Clarke whispered back and placed a lingering kiss at her mother’s cheek.

Clarke smiled. She was going to miss her Mom. But she needed to be independent. This world offered a whole lot more than she could ever imagine. It was not broken. It was not dangerous. In this lifetime, she would be free.

“Are you going to turn Marcus?”

Her mom just gave her a tired sigh and looked away. Clarke left it at that.

* * *

 

_“Blood must have blood!”_

_“We don’t believe in that anymore!”_

_“You have changed our ways! Heda died because of you! We are at war because of you! You Skaikru started it all!”_

_“It wasn’t supposed to be like this! Heda Leksa died because you people didn’t want change!”_

_“Heda was weak to love someone like you.”_

_“You killed Lexa!”_

_“No. You did.”_

 

“Dr. Griffin?”

Clarke blinked. “Yes?”

The nurse gave a chart. “There’s a patient in Ward B.”

Clarke accepted it. “Thank you.”

As Clarke walked towards Ward B in a human-pace, she thought of the sudden painful memory.

Memories of the past sometimes blasted Clarke’s mind. It was spurts and sudden that Clarke didn’t have a choice but to relive it.

Clarke died in her past life in pain.

Clarke woke up in this world in pain.

Being a Vampire was not in Clarke’s bucket list.

In her past life, being the leader of her people and fighting for her life was not her in bucket list.

Fate screwed her in every lifetime, she thought with disgruntlement.

When Clarke woke up as a Vampire, the first thing she thought was ‘Not again’.

Even if she had enhanced strength and enhanced abilities or more than human than usual, she needed to fight for survival. No human would walk up to a restaurant and say: ‘Hey! Do you have some blood?’.

No. She was a Vampire. And she needed to keep it from anyone.

And she thought _life was about more than surviving_. Ugh.

The only perk she had with being a Vampire was her ability to heal and ability to give pain.

Clarke always was her mother’s daughter and being a medic was something Clarke enjoyed. But her ability to give pain must have developed from her past life. She was a Healer. But she was also a Killer.

Cue in Mount Weather. Dun-dun.

She also couldn’t avoid war. During her travels, she fought in the two consecutive World Wars and other wars in other countries.

Clarke was trying her best to save a lot of innocent people during war eras. Vampires tend to use wars as a feeding festival.

Clarke healed then lose lives due to unexplained deaths.

Clarke can explain it. She had enough.

In those years, _Wanheda_ resurfaced. She healed the sick. She made those hard-headed Vampires suffer and disappear.

She had saved and killed thousands of lives. Clarke was just happy that the war stopped and humans became smart and lazy.

Clarke eventually became a full time doctor. She took credits at universities and got her degrees.

Clarke loved being a doctor. Even if she couldn’t use her healing abilities to worst cases and lost some patients due to technicalities of breaking Vampire laws, she still loved being a doctor.

Saved a few today, but more for tomorrow.

“Hello, Dr. Griffin,” a blonde haired doctor with a handsome face and gentle smile greeted Clarke as she arrived at Ward B. “My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen.”

Clarke already smelled the certain scent of a fellow blood drinking friend. “Hello, Dr. Cullen,” Clarke greeted back. “What can I do for you?”

Dr. Cullen smiled widely.

Golden eyes were bright.

Yellow eyes.

Animal drinker.

Human friendly.

Clarke sighed in relief. She wouldn’t need to fight any day now.

Dr. Cullen presented her the patient. They discussed health plans. Exchanged possible surgical path. By the end of the day, Clarke gained a new friend.

“How many years have you been a doctor?” Carlisle asked curiously. Apparently, Clarke was the first Vampire he met who was also a doctor.

“Too many to count,” Clarke waved her hand in dismissal. “I guess…roughly 500 years, give or take.”

“Ah,” Carlisle took it in stride. He must have met ancient Vampires.

“150 years for me.”

Clarke sipped at her go-to bottle. Fresh O+. “Rough years?”

Carlisle shrugged. “Some.”

The two blondes worked together for years.

Clarke liked Carlisle. He reminded him of her Dad. Carlisle didn’t have Jake Griffin’s dry sense of humor but Carlisle had a fatherly aura that made Clarke calm and safe enough.

They bonded with ease.

Carlisle spoke if his stint with the Volturi. He even had a portrait with the 3 Kings. The way he was turned. His love and hate for his father and religion. His desire to die and his discovery of animal blood.

Clarke talked about her turning and her stint with the World Wars. She told him about her special abilities and how she utilized it during the wars and before the wars. She told him of her relationship with her mother and their separation because of her desire to travel the world where she ended being a nomad medic who set up tents in small villages and healed for free. She told him of her _Wanheda_ persona and how much she hated when it arose.

“In my newborn phase, I wasn’t a fan of drinking blood,” Clarke explained. “It was only a necessity. It was not a rave.” Clarke looked at her hands. “I was a fan of bloodshed. I woke up while a revolution was happening. I tried helping. Healing there. Saving here. But they didn’t stop dying. I had enough and gave them the pain they wanted.”

“But _Wanheda_ is you and you are _Wanheda_ ,” Carlisle concluded. He patted Clarke’s hand. “You are you, Clarke. _Wanheda_ or not. You live to heal and you live to give pain. That is you.”

Clarke just hugged Carlisle and thanked him. He was so like Jake. Forever believing that she was enough.

* * *

 

“I have a Coven,” Carlisle stated one day once they finished a bypass on a little boy. “Our usual base is in Washington.”

Clarke paused. Memories of the past flooded her mind. She knew it was a sign. Washington DC. TonDC. _Tondisi_. “May I visit?”

Carlisle smiled widely. “You may even stay.”

Clarke traveled with him and met the Cullens.

They were all golden eyed and cultured.

Carlisle convinced her to stay and try to settle down for a few decades. Clarke just grimaced at the word high school but eventually gave in. She could volunteer where Carlisle worked. Curse him for being turned much older than 20. Clarke could gamble and pass for 25 but no older than that. Being turned at 17 left a bitter taste in her mouth in this type of situation.

The topic of blood was raised and Clarke felt defensive of her preferred diet. Carlisle knew her reasons.

Clarke’s eyes were a muddled crimson that could pass for dark brown in some lighting. Clarke partake on animal blood but she still needed human blood.

“My abilities take toll and animal blood isn’t enough,” she defended while Edward gave her the stink-eye. “I could drink animal blood but I still need human blood. I have a go-to bottle which I refill from blood banks so there will be no human-killing happening.”

“We don’t know you,” Edward countered.

“You just can’t hear my thoughts, boy.”

Clarke knew there were telepathic Vampires and other species that is why she taught herself to strengthen her mind from these types of mind intruders.

First of all, it was a complete and utter invasion of privacy. Second, she didn’t want anyone to know who she was and her past. Third, she didn’t want other to know all the killings that happened. Ever.

She wasn’t called _Wanheda_ for nothing even though it left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Her memories and thoughts were her own. The thousand deaths she had dealt with was her own.

A gnawing feeling of dark thoughts enveloped Clarke’s mind but she shooed it away. She wasn’t going to kill one of Carlisle’s beloved ‘children’ just because this one was a prissy brat even though all her fiber and her _Wanheda_ persona treated this boy as a threat.

No. No more killing.

She didn’t kill for less. She always killed for the worst. Not for a prissy boy.

Amazingly, the most standoffish of the Cullens welcomed her into the family with open-arms. Rosalie Lillian Hale applauded Clarke for pissing of Edward.

With that, she was welcomed to the family and now an honorary Cullen.

Her school registration was named Clarke G. Cullen.

It was the first time Clarke experience going to a high school in this life. Her past life had those lectures in the Ark but it was different when classes were in a School Building. Her university stints were mostly for college and doctorate degrees.

School was mundane. Clarke knew better than the teachers and she couldn’t eat cafeteria food and join sports club. But it was an acceptable past time. She only worried for Jasper who looked like he was having a yearlong stomach cramp. She offered shrouding him with a calming shield for his throat and nose but Jasper declined saying he wanted to practice for Alice. Ah…young love…

Hunting was another pleasant past time. Before it was only her and her Mom. Abby tend to always hunt for Clarke. Now, Clarke hunted with a coven and it was amusing watching Emmet wrestle bears, Edward running with mountain lions, and Rosalie getting down and dirty with an Elk.

One of their hunting sessions, Clarke tilted her head then grimaced. “What is that smell?” she complained as she walked away from a certain part of the forest.

Rosalie smirked. “Oh. Those are the dogs.”

“Dogs?”

Alice went on a long explanation about the La Push reservation outside the boundary of Forks and selected Quileute Tribe members turning into wolves who struck a treaty about borders and Vampire etiquette with Carlisle decades ago.

“The Shifters,” Clarke paused, brows furrowed. “Are they trouble?”

Carlisle saw the troubled expression of the blonde. “No,” he quickly replied with a shake of a head and s comforting smile. “They are a peaceful settlement that was ravaged by Vampires in the past.” He saw the blonde’s tensed shoulders drop a bit. “They have what they call Wolf Spirit Warriors. We call them Shifters.”

Clarke mulled over the information then nodded when she found no threat. “I see.”

“When you joined this coven, I promised you peace,” Carlisle placed a comforting hand at Clarke’s shoulder. “There will be no wars in this area as long as we abide by the rules.”

Clarke didn’t believe that. Edward and Rosalie were like reenacting the World War every opportunity they got resulting a pissed of Edward running off to a sister-coven in Alaska and an enraged Rosalie damaging and fixing cars all week. Alice being the all-knowing brat that she is manages to bring Jasper out of the house away from the squabble, Emmett defending his wife by day and destroying counter terrorists in his gaming console at night, Esme ignoring her ‘children's’’ antics and busying herself with house designs and cooking for the soup-kitchen, and Carlisle making himself at home at the hospital.

Cullens…

Clarke shook her head and confined herself in her room which she asked Esme to convert into a studio where she drew and painted and sharpened her blades. Jasper, being a veteran soldier, was intrigued of her weapons. Swords. Guns. Bombs. She had a collection. Esme, at first, was against it but Clarke assured her the guns and bombs didn’t work. Her swords had dull sides. Only one set of dual blades were sharp and special. It reminded Clarke of her.

“Why do you have these?” Jasper asked while eyeing the glass case and its contents.

“A past life,” Clarke remembered whispering in lost thought. “It reminds me of my loved ones.”

Alice, on the other hand, was intrigued of the sketches and paintings. Alice and she had the same love for drawing. But Alice sketched for clothing design and her visions. Clarke sketched her past.

“Who are these?” Alice tapped her chin in thought. “And where are those?”

“Loved ones,” Clarke replied while touching the sketched face of her favorite mechanic. “Landmarks where I lost and gained.” She touched the sketch of Mount Weather.

Alice and Jasper didn’t ask again, knowing Clarke’s past haunted her until now. More of her past from her past life but they didn’t have to know that. Yet.

Clarke thanked them for the curiosity and respect.

Months went by and everything was fine. The Cullen children continued to go to school. Carlisle went to the hospital. Esme assumed her mother role.

Clarke was at peace. From haunted memories. From _her_.

Everything was fine.

Then Edward found a Singer and a Mate in a human.

Rosalie wanted to strangle him.

Emmett and Alice were over the moon with a new addition to the family.

Carlisle and Esme were just happy for their 96 year old bachelor son. Jasper just held on to Alice.

Clarke found everything amusing.

“When the Volturi hears of this…” Rosalie grumbled as she bent another one of her wrenches and threw it at the garage wall which became embedded to the wall. “Why are you not finding this as a threat?”

“Isabella Swan?” Clarke sipped at her go-to bottle. Rosalie eyed the bottle with disgust. “She’s not a threat, Rosalie.” The other blonde gave her an incredulous look. “Unless Eddie’s gonna advertise to Italy that he’s got a human girlfriend.”

“This is not a joke,” Rosalie hissed. “Don’t worry, Rose,” Clarke patted the other blonde with a reassuring smile. “I’ll look out for everyone.” Rosalie just huffed and plucked the crooked wrench straightened it then went back to work.

Well, everything didn’t go fine.

Bella was a magnet for trouble.

Bella was a clumsy. Terribly clumsy. She reminded Clarke of Jasper Jordan when he was so high and drunk with moonshine. It made Clarke ache for the lanky boy who laughed with her then hated her when she couldn’t save Maya from the mountain then loved her again when they fought side by side against ALIE 1.0 and Pike and the Grounders. She missed her friends every day.

Edward made matters worse.

He declined Bella at first, opting to run off to the Denalis, leaving the human confused and hurt. Clarke clucked her tongue at the juvenile decision.

“CLARKE!” Alice shouted when she got the vision and Clarke just sighed.

She had to do this.

Edward was a walking emotional disaster. She reminded him of her.

Clarke in her past life was a walking emotional disaster.

Edward was protected by Carlisle and Esme.

Clarke was protected by Jake and Abigail.

Edward thought he was privileged and did what he thought was right.

Clarke did so, too.

Then everyone died.

 _She_ died.

Clarke wouldn’t forgive herself if this human tried to kill herself because she couldn’t understand why she felt hurt and longing for Edward’s departure. Of course the mating related factors already happened. Or was it just a Vampire-induced pheromone thing? Jasper couldn’t decide between the two. The love for a Singer’s blood and a Mate’s call was simply had the same degree of emotion. Bella was still first and foremost Edward’s Singer.

But Edward still left Bella when things got out of hand. What were family for if he couldn’t even ask for advice on this thing? Edward was going to kill this girl because he decided it was the right thing. Clarke was not going to let that happen.

“What is she going to do?” Rosalie asked.

Alice pursed her lips. “Something.” Clarke stood up. She walked straight towards the lunch line. Stopped beside her target.

“Do you want to sit with us?” Clarke started, startling the girl. Bella looked spooked.

“Uhm…”

“I think your friends wouldn’t miss you that much,” Clarke eyed the group who was gawking at them. Clarke almost scoffed. Clarke was the only Cullen who was friendly enough to talk to other students. Talking to Bella should not be gawked at. “Even only for today? Just a payback for what our stupid brother did.” She ended with a scratch at the back of the head.

Bella was still wary. “Okay…”

The girl was just so depressed. Clarke was going to smash Edwards face on a tree multiple times when she sees him.

Bella got her lunch and followed Clarke.

Clarke eyed Rosalie who was scowling but behaved.

Emmett was grinning from ear to ear.

Alice was clapping excitedly.

Jasper just held on to her.

“Hi, dear brothers and sisters. This is Bella.” Bella waved shyly.

“Hi…”

Alice couldn’t handle it anymore and started barraging Bella with questions and shopping schedules and whatnot.

Emmett invited her for game night.

Jasper sat still and clutched unto Alice for dear life. Rosalie was just quiet and brooding.

“You did good,” Rosalie muttered as they all stood up for class. Clarke just beamed at her.

Bella became a lunch buddy starting that day.

Bella was awkward and quiet but she was intelligent. It suddenly occurred to Clarke while they were doing homework which ended with them playing chess at the end of the day and Bella winning, Bella reminded Clarke of Wells, as well. Her sweet best friend who was awkward and quiet but was intelligent and who always wins at chess.

That day, Clarke vowed to protect Bella.

Wells died because a little girl hated his father.

Bella wasn’t going to be stabbed by some little girl because of her father who was the kindest Chief of Police Clarke had ever met but Clarke would protect Bella. Rosalie and Edward be damned.

Alice became Bella’s best friend but Clarke was always there for Bella. Every nightmare. Every injury. Every clumsy moment.

Edward eventually came back and she and Edward had an understanding.

Bella eventually knew about the Cold Ones and Shifters thanks to a young Quileute boy.

Bella and Edward eventually got together but Clarke would kick Edward away from Bella’s window every night.

It doesn’t mean that he was the boyfriend he could have the privilege to be creepy voyeur.

And she smashed Edward’s face on a tree multiple times when he went back.

Rosalie was quite pleased.

Esme was not.

Bella was somewhat accepting.

Emmett just whooped with Alice.

Jasper still held on.

Carlisle was still cooped up in the hospital.

Everything was going fine again.

Until three nomads appeared in Forks.

Clarke just saw red.

 _Wanheda_ in all her glory appeared in that field.

Clarke was not a fighter in her past life. But this life gave her all the abilities and skill a _Natblida_ could have had.

When James stated his intention to hunt down Bella, Clarke just charged and pounded her fist at the nomad. His companions fled immediately, sensing the murderous intent Clarke gave off as she continued to pound her fist that would make any Grounder proud.

That would make _her_ proud.

“You are a monster!” James wailed as Clarke managed to pull off his arms. His face and body were full of spider web cracks.

Clarke was more than a monster.

She was Death.

“I had killed hundreds. A thousand, maybe,” Clarke stated ominously. The thunder and lightning in the skies echoed her intent. “Killing is not a game, James. It makes you more than a monster.” James just wailed louder when Clarke put her hand at his head. He could feel thousands of blade-like sensation continuously stabbing him.

Clarke healed for life.

Clarke gave pain for death.

She was _Wanheda_. The Commander of Death.

“Clarke!” Clarke was pulled out from her concentration to look at Bella who was crying but looked at her worriedly.

Clarke looked down at the nomad who looked like he wanted death more than anything.

“The little Vampire…” James muttered as his head was tilted at a strange angle but his red eyes were staring at Alice. “She was a good little girl…”

“You know Alice?”

“Mary Alice…” James continued. “Mary Alice was supposed to be mine…”

“Where did you meet her?”

“Asylum,” James smiled wickedly at the memory. “She was a little prophet. The doctor just got in my way…”

Clarke frowned then turned to look at Alice who was wide eyed with shock.

“Jasper, light a fire,” Clarke said when Alice didn’t respond.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jasper nodded and started collecting wood.

Emmett, Edward, and Carlisle took up dismantling James’ limbs and cutting off his head. Rosalie helped Jasper with the fire and once it was burning the rest threw James into the pit.

Screams of anguish echoed throughout the forest.

Esme held onto Alice and Bella. One was still in shock at the revelation of her past. One was still crying from emotional stress.

Clarke stood frozen. Watching James burn into ashes.

She reached up to her necklace. It was a customized pendant she had sculpted when the memories of her past life came to her. It was the shape of Beca Pramheda’s ALIE 2.0 design.

“In peace, may you leave the shore,” Clarke started. The ancient proverb the Ark had instilled in her flowing freely from her lips. The ‘final words of death’ as Raven called it one time when they finished reciting it for her Mom when she passed. “In love, may you find the rest.” James’ cries were wild as the fire licked at his skin. “Safe passages on your travels.” Clarke looked up at the skies. It was dark and unforgiving. “Until your final journey to the ground.” Clarke looked down at James as he slowly burned. “May we never meet again, James. Never.” Clarke’s eyes grew dark and sinister. “ _Yu gonplei ste odon_.”

The fire went out, so were James’ ashes.

Clarke strode away.

Death, even though it was just, was not a pleasant sight.

“Clarke!” and a body collided at Clarke’s. Bella was crying as she clung at the blonde.

Clarke let the girl and hugged her back. “It’s alright, Bella.”

“Y-You could have died!” Bella cried. Clarke silently scoffed at that. Didn’t Bella see how the nomad didn’t even have the strength to overpower her? “When you punched him, I thought you will get hurt.”

“I’ve lived a few lifetimes, Bella,” Clarke wiped the girl’s eyes. “James is nothing compared to what I fought before.”

Mount Weather.

 _Kwin Nia kom Azgeda_.

ALLIE 1.0.

The Coalition.

Charles Pike.

 _Pauna_.

She was purely human then. It was harder. She was mortal. She almost died a lot of times.

“Do not worry for me,” Clarke murmured as she took Bella’s face with her hands. “Worry for your mortal bum, okay?”

“Okay.”

Clarke smiled and kissed the brunette’s nose. “Okay.”

Bella giggled and snuggled closer to Clarke. She would protect Bella. She would protect her Wells of this lifetime.

But Clarke almost regretted saving Bella when Edward bombarded her with kindness.

“I would slice of your dick and burn it to crisps,” Clarke threatened when Edward gifted her another set of her favorite oil pastels. Edward conceded but thanked Clarke every passing moment he got.

Clarke just took all his gratefulness…until she smashed his grand piano.

Esme just sighed as the peaceful weeks she got after the nomad encounter got noisy again when Edward whined for the loss of his baby and Rosalie and Emmett's cackle. Alice just shrugged and said Clarke’s decision was varying from smashing his CD collection to bringing Bella to Port Angeles without permission to the piano. The piano was time-saving. Jasper just held on to Alice. Carlisle went back to hospital duty. Clarke smiled and high-fives her pseudo sister.

* * *

 

“We have a meeting with the Shifters,” Carlisle announced one day. “What do they want?” “Dog food?” Rosalie offered and winced when she got a scolding look from Esme.

“A year ago there were no Shifters,” Clarke said with a frown.

“Ah…it only takes a year for a Shifter or two to acknowledge our presence,” Carlisle offered. “It’s like they breed when we stay here longer than a year,” Emmet rubbed his perfectly baby skinned chin. Clarke looked out the windows to look at the direction where the Reservation was located. She mulled at the new information.

“A defense mechanism of some sort, I guess,” Clarke mumbled to herself but the Cullens heard it loud a clear.

“We think so, too,” Jasper murmured in agreement.

They dressed up and went towards the border. Clarke wrinkled her nose. The stench was of wet dog multiplied by a thousand. Wet dog smell didn’t appall Clarke but this was just too much to handle for any sensitive nose.

When they got there, three humans were already there. They were gruff and buff and close-shaved.

After a few minutes, one by one, humongous wolves started to come out from the trees. Wolf Spirit Warriors.

Clarke slightly frowned in disappointment. She expected them to be humans with wolf heads. She let the thought slip towards Edward and the boy choked up a laugh.

“Greetings,” Carlisle greeted. “We are the Cullens.”

“I am Sam Uley. I am the Alpha of this pack,” a gruff young man spoke out. He reminded Clarke of the Grounders. Tall and bulky and tattooed with a permanent scowl in the face.

“Hello, Sam. My name is Carlisle.”

“We know,” Sam huffed. “You’re the doctor.”

“Yes.”

“How can a leech be a doctor?” one of the La Push boys growled out. “I bet he already broke the treaty, Sam!”

“Shut up, Paul,” Sam barked out and Paul back down submissively. Sam turned back to Carlisle. “The treaty still stands. Hurt no human. Don’t cross the border.”

“Understood.”

Clarke tuned out the conversation between leaders and surveyed the rest of the Shifters.

They were varying of sizes and colors. But one thing was clear. These Shifters’ sizes were not of ordinary wolf-size. More of horse sizes. At least, not Pauna size. Clarke visibly shivered at that thought. Jasper glanced at her but Clarke waived him off and continued to observe the Shifters.

Aside from taking the appearance of a horse-sized wolf, there was nothing Clarke could see. If the Shifters were made to fight off Vampires, then these wolves could tear her to pieces in a blink of an eye.

Clarke pursed her lips at that thought.

But, it’s either that or the Pauna.

Floating Paunas… Clarke was deep in thought of her memories with the Pauna encounter when a set of bright green eyes crossed her vision. Clarke’s eyes widened and her she silently gasped in shock.

There were two wolves out of the group that were smaller. One was grey with a bored look while the other had a black pelt that was dark enough to produce a midnight blue shimmer when the light hit the fur. The dark furred wolf stood proud and tall almost regally and had intense green eyes that stared at Clarke for some reason.

If Clarke’s heart could beat, she could already have a heart attack.

Jasper choked on air and Edward and Alice turned to him then turned at Clarke. Edward’s face was clenched because of not hearing Clarke’s thoughts while Alice’s were blank apparent from a vision.

“What’s the matter?” Carlisle asked.

“Nothing!” Clarke exclaimed then cleared her throat. “Nothing.” She smiled. “Should we go?”

“Yes. Sam and I are done with the discussion of the treaty.” The Alpha and his two henchman were the first to go then one by one the rest of the wolves followed. But the wolf with the green eyes stayed. The grey wolf nudged the other but the green eyed wolf nudged back until the grey wolf huffed and walked away.

Clarke stared at the lone wolf at the other side of the border.

“What is she waiting for?”

“Treats?”

“Must be guarding the border…”

“I can’t read her mind.”

“Wow, Eddie-boy. First, Clarky. Then Bella-bear. Now a wolf?” Emmett grinned, dimples full on display. “Your powers are flunking, dude.”

While the Edward whined, the Cullens started to head home.

Clarke gave the lone wolf one last look then followed the rest of the Cullens back to the mansion.

Clarke had the feeling she would see the wolf soon.

Sooner as she thought.

After meeting the Shifters at the border, Clarke could sense a nearby presence. It was just out in the surrounding trees near the Cullen mansion. The others were none the wiser. Clarke was the only one who could sense it.

Could it be?

* * *

 

One weekday where the sun was too high for them to come out, they stayed at the backyard.

Emmett and Jasper were playing chess where Emmet whined all the way. Edward was quietly composing music. Rosalie was reading an engineering book. Alice was sketching a new clothing design. Esme and Carlisle were sitting close together and enjoying the serene atmosphere.

Clarke stood at the top of the stairs leading down the main backyard grounds and stared at a particular tree.

 _Triku_. Amusing. She got it.

“You can come down the tree now, you big raccoon,” Clarke shouted with a fond look.

The rest of the Cullens, except for Alice, just looked at her with confusion.

“Who are you talking too, Clarke?” Emmet asked.

“I could hear your heartbeat from here, raccoon!” Clarke continued to shout.

After a few minutes, a lithe figure dropped down the said tree. The Cullens gasped in surprise at the intruder.

“Is that from La Push?”

“Why is one of the dogs here?” Rosalie snapped her book shut. “Isn’t this breaking the treaty?”

“I don’t think so…” Carlisle looks at Clarke. “Clarke knows her.”

The Cullens looked at Clarke with another round of confusion and curiosity but Clarke only had eyes at the approaching figure. It was her.

It was _her_ and Clarke could feel herself tremble in relief and longing.

It was _her_ and Clarke thanked all the gods that she was here.

It was _her_ and Clarke suddenly felt whole again. In her last life, she fought a war she couldn’t end. No matter what she did, there was no winning.

She died with a sword in her gut and looking at the sky that was full of ash and blood.

She couldn’t save everyone she loved.

Her dad. Wells. Finn. Raven. Monty. Bellamy. Octavia. Indra. Her mom.

Lexa.

When she woke up in this life, she was again at war. British Revolution or something like that. Her father was dead and it was because of her mother again. But this time, Clarke did not accuse her. Amongst the confusion and panic, a Vampire made the town a feeding ground. Dead and missing people were of the norm because of the war. A drink here and a sip there. Abigail Griffin was always a doctor in every lifetime and was always late out in camps and hospitals, trying and failing to save patients. Abigail became one of the victims in the Vampire’s quest for food but was failed to be drained dry. Three days of agony and confusion, Abby went home only to feed on her dear Jake and turning her daughter Clarke.

At the moment of her turning, Clarke recovered her past memories in detail. Abby did so too. The two Griffin women looked at each other. Relief and anguish flooded their senses. They mourned at the loss of the most important man in their life. Jake Griffin was bound for an early death in every lifetime.

But what Clarke mourned more was her Soul Mate.

Clarke woke up in this life without _her_.

Wells tried to give her his love. Becoming her best friend. Refusing to cooperate with his father. Trying to control the 100 when Bellamy only urged everyone to be free from the Ark.

Finn tried to show her love. Accompanying her in the ground. Making her feel that she wasn’t alone. Choosing her even when Raven showed up. Killing for her. Sacrificing for her.

But ultimately, Lexa showed and gave her unconditional love. Listening to her when Camp Jaha tried to overrule her for being a child. Betraying her during the siege at the mountain for her duty and love for her people. Saving her when everyone was out for her blood for destroying a mountain. Using her as an advantage against the other clans for the sake of the Coalition and peace between the clans. Swearing her fealty to Clarke and _Skaikru_ even if she knew that Clarke’s people were a danger to the Coalition. Still loving her even though she died because of Clarke. For Clarke. Everything for Clarke.

Lexa loved her people.

Lexa loved Costia.

Lexa loved Clarke.

But when Lexa loved, she also died bit by bit.

Her people were enslaved by war and death after years of peace from the Coalition because of the _Skaikru_.

Costia was killed by _Azgeda_.

Lexa died because Titus decided to try firing a _fayagon_ at Clarke.

Clarke wished she hadn’t fallen from the sky.

Clarke wished Lexa didn’t rise from the ground and catch her.

But Clarke wished more if Lexa lived.

Lexa brought her pain and suffering. But Lexa also gave her the love she wished that lasted.

Last time she saw Lexa, she was on death’s doors but smiling at Clarke and telling her that her fight is over.

Right now, she was watching Lexa walking towards her. Alive and well.

It was Lexa. The same dark hair in intricate braids. The same strong jawline. The same intense green eyes.

But this Lexa was not her Commander. She was not _Heda_.

This Lexa was slightly hesitant. Young.

This Lexa was approaching the house where a coven of Vampires lived and she was successfully putting up a cold, brave face but Clarke could see the unsure eyes and nervous clenching of fists.

This Lexa was not Heda of the 13 Clans. This Lexa was not the Commander of Blood.

But this Lexa is Lexa.

Like Clarke is Clarke.

The girl finally stopped at the foot of the stairs and looked up.

The girl who made her life miserable and killed the boy she loved. The girl who helped her people but betrayed her in the end. The girl who believed that love was weakness but in the end loved her with all her heart and died because of her.

The girl at the bottom of the steps was young and had the innocence Lexa of the Grounders never had.

This Lexa was a normal girl who suddenly turned into a wolf because of Vampires.

This Lexa had not saw and fought years of war.

This Lexa did not live to fight and die for her people.

This Lexa is innocent and Clarke was relieved. Even though this Lexa was not the Commander, at least Lexa had grew up without thinking that _blood must have blood_.

Clarke smiled down at the Shifter who slightly fidgeted.

This time’s Lexa looked around to be 15 years old. She was still tall and her off-white wife beater and old running shorts didn’t hide the sun-kissed skin and taut muscles and beautiful tattoos. The only missing thing from this ensemble was the black war paint but that was for another lifetime.

She would meet her dear raccoon soon.

Lexa pursed her lips and gave a wary look at the Cullens who were watching the scene unfold then shifted her attention towards Clarke.

“Lexa.”

The girl tensed at the call of her name but kept head held high and stared hard. Even in another lifetime, things never changed. Lexa was such a _Commander_.

“Clarke.” The soft voice with the hard ‘K’ that made Clarke’s knees weak spoke out. Wide green eyes stared hard at Clarke. “You are real.”

Clarke smiled. She knew Lexa was slowly recovering her past memories. “Yes, I am.”

“You are…not a figment of my imagination.”

“No.”

“You are Clarke Griffin.”

“Once,” Clarke responded with a tired sigh. “A long time ago. In a different time.”

Lexa seemed to understand the meaning behind those words and nodded.

“Fate must hate us, Lexa,” Clarke shrugged. “Once, we were Sky and Ground.” A flash of recognition crossed Lexa’s face. “Now, we are reincarnated in different species that hated each other.”

“I do not hate you,” Lexa replied with a shake of the head. “Or the Cullens.” She added as an afterthought. “But I must do what I must to protect my people.”

“Your people…” Clarke barked out a laugh. “God, Lexa. You do not change.”

Lexa looked down for a second then looked right back at Clarke. “I still do not remember all…” she informed with a tinge of regret. “But I always see you.” Clarke could see the longing in the green eyes. “I dream of blades and blood. I dream of a mountain and people dead.” Lexa gave Clarke her the smile. The smile that wasn’t visible but it was there. Only Lexa could give that invisible smile. “I dream of gold hair and blue eyes.”

Clarke reached for her pendant. Heda’s sacred symbol. Clarke still had gold hair but her eyes were not the bright blues of the past. It was turned into a bloody crimson the day she was turned.

“I do not dream of you,” Clarke smiled at the sudden frown on the younger girl. “I always think of you.”

For the first time, even from the past, Lexa blushed deeply. Clarke felt like whooping in celebration.

“Do not mock me…” Lexa grumbled, looking down to hide her blush. Young, innocent Lexa was so cute!

“A wise woman once told me that ‘ _Mockery is not a product of a strong mind_ ’,” Clarke quipped with a smirk.

Lexa’s eyes brightened at the phrase. She returned it with her own playful smirk. “That is one wise woman.”

Clarke almost wanted to go down and wipe Lexa off her feet and kiss her like there was no tomorrow. But Clarke was a gentlewoman. She was not brash in this world. If Clarke became the hotheaded teen she was back at the Ark, this world with burn.

So she stayed put. Even though all she wanted was to go to Lexa and touch her. Feel that she was alive and not dying.

“I should go back…” Lexa informed with a dejected tone. “Sam. He…”

“I understand.” Lexa was still a Shifter and Clarke was still a Vampire. “But you would return?” Clarke asked with hope. She glanced at Carlisle who nodded. “You are welcome here.”

Lexa looked conflicted but in the end a resolute nod was given. “I will return.” _To you_.

Clarke accepted that. Lexa would return. She would hold on to that. She lived for centuries. She was a patient person now.

“Remember this, Lexa.” Clarke clenched her right hand into a fist and placed it at her chest. “Our fight is not over.”

Lexa’s eyes widened further and seemed trembling at those words. Clarke almost felt guilty. She could see the memories bombarding Lexa’s mind right now. When she told her Mom ‘I forgive you’, her mother stood still and gotten her past memories and broken down in front of Clarke. Telling Lexa such words were a trigger Clarke needed for the other girl to remember everything.

Lexa suddenly snapped back. Her form more regal than before. Her hands behind her back. A knowing glint in those green eyes. Clarke finally met the Commander.

“ _Oso gonplei nou ste odon_.”

Clarke finally got _Leksa kom Triku_ back.

They both nodded at each other and Lexa turned away to leave. Clarke forlornly watched the love of her life leave.

“ _Ai hod yu in, Leksa_ …” she whispered.

The girl stopped and looked back. Fierce green eyes bored unto Clarke.

“May we meet again, _Klark_.”

The girl continued to walk away until she took off sprinting and finally shifting into a wolf leaving Clarke grinning widely.

“So…that was a thing,” Emmet drawled out and got smacked at the head by Rosalie.

“Yeah…” Clarke smiled dopily at her pseudo-brother. “A good thing.”

“Did you just give out an invitation to the dog?” Rosalie quirked a brow.

“I did.” Clarke scowled. “Lexa is not a dog. Well, she is. But she’s Lexa. She’s important to me.”

Rosalie smirked then nodded. Emmett wiggled his eyebrows. Clarke stuck out a tongue at him.

“The Shifter Imprinted on you,” Edward informed with interest. “I saw glimpsed of imprinting in the wolves’ thoughts at the meeting. It’s a sacred thing for them.”

Emmet scratched his chin again. “I thought you couldn’t read her thoughts.”

“I can’t,” Edward grumbled. “But her eyes were set for Clarke and Clarke alone. It’s either what past they share is important or that she Imprinted.”

“Imprinting means I have a soul,” Clarke teased. “Do you have one, Eddie?” Edward scowled deeper.

“Are we going to get explanations about what occurred, Dr. Griffin?” Carlisle, ever the curious one.

“Maybe,” Clarke shrugged. “Well, my love-life happened a lifetime ago.” She dismissed with a wave of the hand. She couldn’t quite explain everything now. “Shouldn’t we be discussing about Eddie’s now?”

A loud groan came out from Rosalie and Jasper. Edward looked offended.

A gentle hand dropped unto Clarke’s shoulder and she turned to find Esme smiling warmly at her. “I am happy for you, Clarke,” the maternal Cullen said and Clarke could almost cry.

“Thank you, Esme…”

“Abby will be, as well.”

Clarke thought of her mother and chuckled lowly. Her mother meeting Lexa again would be a bloodbath. “I guess so.”

An arm slung around Clarke’s neck and came face to face with Alice. Bright eyed and a big smile.

“Your future’s so bleak, I’m so excited even though my head hurts!”

“Thanks, Alice.”

“Your Mate has the perfect body for dress-up!”

“No.”

Alice’s whines echoed the whole house and Clarke left her with her husband and trudged off to her room slash studio. At the far side of the room was a covered canvas.

Clarke breathed in and exhaled deeply before removing the cloth. Touching the charcoal drawing, Clarke smiled forlornly.

“See you soon, Commander.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is an orphan who resided at the edge of the La Push reservation with her foster mom and siblings.  
> They were the Woods and Lexa loved each and everyone of them.
> 
> Her life was normal as much as she could imagine.  
> Until she shifted into a gigantic wolf.
> 
> Everything changed when she shifted. But there were certain things that were constant in her life.  
> Her dreams about blood and swords. A lonely Commander. And an angry Clarke Griffin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! :) Thank you for all the comments and kudos for the previous chapter!!!
> 
> As promised in my comments, I made Lexa's POV. Much longer and detailed than Clarke's.  
> This involves minor therapy sessions and panic attacks. I haven't experience going to a psychiatrist/psychologist and having only experienced a major panic attack two times in my life so please excuse me if there are mistakes.
> 
> Also my apologies for the late posting. I suddenly got busy with work. Then, I got the flu twice in a span of four weeks. After that, I had a minor relapse with my neck and lower back pain due to not going to therapy for another two weeks. Nerve pain problems are the devils. I think our dear Raven could attest to that. :D 
> 
> Have you all watched The 100 Season 5??? Little Eden! Clarke! Madi! SpaceKru! Wonkru and cannibalism! Prisoners! And bombs!  
> Let's not forget the famous 'yandere' line: "If I can't have [this] then no one can." brrrrrrr~  
> Kudos to the Heda Lexa references. Got teary eyed when Madi was telling Clarke about the only Commander who believed the blood must not have blood.  
> And the finale? Hope they don't ruin that new earth in Season 6. But with Clarke and Octavia and the remaining Elegius prisoners? Ha. Ha. Ha. *slow clapping* I already give my condolences to new Earth. 
> 
> Now on to the story.  
> All mistakes are mine. Seriously. I'll come back and read this all over again to fix mistakes.
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters, fictional setting, and other related items are not mine and belongs to their respective owners.
> 
> P.s. R.I.P. to Monty and Harper. May their sacrifices be worth it. May we meet them again.

_A large man with a thick beard and tattoos was tied at a pole._

_Multiple cuts from his chest and arms bleed._

_His breathe was labored._

_His pulse was weak._

_But hard black eyes stared resolute. “Ste yuj,” he rumbled._

_The girl with braids and a black mask in the form of tear tracks raised her sword._

_Green eyes were full of pain and sadness._

_“Yu gonplei ste odon.”_

 

“Wake up, Lexa.”

Lexa stirred and opened her eyes wide.

A dark skinned woman with equally dark eyes and a closed cropped head was looking down at her.

Lexa sighed in relief.

It was only Indra – her foster mom.

“It’s time for breakfast. Wake your sisters and brothers up,” Indra instructed.

“Yes, Indra,” Lexa murmured sleepily.

Lexa got up and walked towards the rooms of her brother and sisters.

The Woods house was located at the border of La Push Reservation and Forks. Indra was an experienced foster mom who currently cared for five orphans at the moment.

Lexa didn’t waste time on her task.

“Lexa?”

Lexa turned at the tiny voice and saw Trisha, or Tris as everyone called her. She was the current youngest orphan.

“Yeah?”

“Anya’s not waking up,” the girl reported.

Lexa frowned.

Indra’s instructions were to wake up her brothers and sisters.

Lexa was a good girl. She always followed instructions.

Lexa will always deliver.

Lexa wouldn’t fail.

If Indra said to wake up all her brothers and sisters, Lexa will make sure that they will wake up.

So she pulled some of the children and got their water guns. Lexa had a bucket full of water. For some reason, she didn’t like guns.

“Open fire,” Lexa commanded and the others fired their guns as Lexa dumped the cold water on the figure’s head.

A loud yelp and a string of curses no children should hear or speak of were shouted.

Lexa and the other children giggled loudly and run out of the room.

Anya was at the door, wet from head to toe. “I’m going to kill you, Lexa!!!”

Anya took off and ran after Lexa but Lexa was faster and smaller. Anya would never catch her.

But Indra can and Lexa was given a scolding. Anya looked pleased but yelped in pain when Indra pinched her ears.

Lexa stood straight and puffed out her chest.

She delivered Indra’s instructions. She had woken up her brothers and sisters.

Lexa was a good girl, after all.

Unlike that girl with braids and a black mask from her dream.

 

* * *

 

_The girl with braids and a black mask twirled her knife._

_“You’re the one who burned my 300 men.”_

_Another girl who had the brightest gold hair and bluest eyes gave a stiff shrug._

_You’re the one who sent them there to kill us.”_

“Lexa!”

Lexa fought when someone held her arms firmly.

Another shout of her name and Lexa fought harder.

She opened her eyes in fright.

“Anya?”

The older girl looked down with sleepy, worried eyes. “You were kinda shouting,” Anya informed then glanced a little at the side. “Tris was getting scared.”

Lexa turned where Anya was looking and saw the small girl huddled in the corner.

“Sorry…”

Anya released her hold on Lexa’s arms. “What is it?”

Lexa looked down. “Clarke,” she replied with a small voice.

Anya sighed heavily and stood up from the bed. “Sleep, Lexa,” she ordered. “Clarke isn’t real.”

Lexa snapped her eyes at Anya. “She is.”

Anya stared back. “Not.”

Lexa clenched her fists.

Anya crossed her arms.

“Sleep,” Anya ordered and pulled Tris from the room and closed the door with a quiet thud.

Lexa begrudgingly lied down and pulled up the covers.

Sleep evaded her that night.

 

* * *

 

“Good day, Lexa.”

Dr. Jackson smiled.

Lexa didn’t.

Lexa crossed her arms and stayed quiet.

Dr. Jackson took notes and continued to smile. Then he hummed.

Lexa didn’t hate Dr. Jackson. He was kind and always smiled.

But Lexa didn’t want to be here.

Lexa didn’t want to speak her mind.

But Indra wanted her to visit Dr. Jackson.

Lexa was a good girl so she obeyed.

For Indra.

Also, for Anya and the other children.

As long as Lexa could remember, she had dreams.

Dreams she couldn’t explain.

She had dreams of herself.

Sometimes she was younger.

Often times she was older.

But what always stuck to her mind was her older self who always had a black mask with swords on her back and didn’t smile often.

In her dreams, she was some sort of a commander of an army and they always fought with other people who had scars on their faces or with strange looking people in a bulky suit.

She didn’t like her older self.

Older her was always rude and didn’t smile.

Older her always used her swords and killed.

Older her always sat at the weird chair.

Older her looked lonely.

But that wasn’t the reason why Indra and Anya wanted her to visit Dr. Jackson.

It was because of a certain girl in her dreams.

Her dreams repeated.

Often times she couldn’t even remember or understand her dreams.

But most of her dreams consisted of a girl with gold hair and blue eyes.

Clarke Griffin of the Sky People.

 _Klark kom Skaikru_.

But when Clarke was in her dreams, she was always angry at her and Lexa didn’t like that.

Lexa wanted to be Clarke Griffin’s friend.

Clarke looked like she was always angry and alone.

The older her didn’t smile a lot and looked lonely.

Maybe they can be friends so Clarke wouldn’t be angry all the time and older her would smile a lot.

Maybe if they became friends, they won’t look so lonely.

“You had a dream again, Lexa?” Dr. Jackson asked.

Lexa reluctantly nodded.

“Will you tell me what it was?”

Lexa crossed her arms tighter and frowned. Dr. Jackson just smiled and waited patiently.

Lexa sighed in defeat. “I killed a man tied at a pole.”

A pen dropped to the floor.

Dr. Jackson’s eyes were wide.

Lexa slowly lifted her lips in a small smile.

Her dreams didn’t really bother Lexa anymore. Most would not understand that a 9 year old could dream of killing someone. But Lexa had these dreams even when she was younger. The trauma and the goriness was what brought Lexa to Dr, Jackson, after all.

But that was not the same for dear Dr. Jackson.

He didn’t have a sister named Anya who liked to watch Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street even at daylight.

Dr. Jackson blinked a few times then cleared his throat. “Why did you kill him?” he resumed, picking up his pen in haste then started writing again in his notebook.

Lexa shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t even remember his face. I just raised my sword and killed him.”

Dr. Jackson was frantically writing at his notebook now.

Lexa narrowed her eyes.

Someday she would get that notebook.

She wanted to know what Dr. Jackson was writing of her.

Did Dr. Jackson think Lexa was crazy like the other kids and adults?

Lexa silently scoffed at that.

She is not crazy.

She shouldn’t be here.

But Indra told her to go here so she just stayed put.

“Have Clarke appeared in your dreams lately?”

Lexa frowned. “Why?”

Dr. Jackson didn’t look up. “Just curious.”

Lexa pursed her lips. “Yeah.”

“Was she still angry at you?”

“Always.” Lexa looked down. “We should be friends,” she added with a small voice.

Dr. Jackson stopped writing and looked up with shock on his face. “Why do you say that?”

“’Coz Clarke’s angry and I look sad.” Lexa swung her legs. Lexa suddenly felt small in her seat. “Maybe we could be friends. She needs friends.”

Dr. Jackson closed his notebook. “You also need friends, Lexa.”

Lexa kept her eyes on her feet that didn’t even touch the floor.

If Clarke became her friend, Lexa didn’t need others.

 

* * *

 

Since the Woods house was nearer the reservation’s school, Lexa and the others visited La Push more than Forks.

Anya was 3 years older than Lexa who was the 2nd oldest amongst the orphans and had multiple friends at La Push. Her best friend was one Leah Clearwater.

Lincoln, another orphan, befriended Jacob Black and Seth Clearwater.

Ryder and Tris also had La Push local friends.

Except Lexa.

At school, Lexa was not the popular kid.

Her classmates only knew her for being the smart one who had complete home works, did exceptionally well in P.E., and had straight A tests.

Lexa at 9 years old was too serious and lack social skills.

The teachers would often alert Indra of this behavior but the dark skinned woman didn’t bother.

“Lexa is young. She will have friends.” Was Indra’s reply and the teachers didn’t bother again.

Lexa stuck to her foster brothers and sisters at break.

After school, Lexa would go straight to the Woods house and do her homework or go the surrounding forests and climb trees or play with her siblings.

But Lexa was not a complete recluse.

She chatted with her classmates.

She smiled wide at the lunch ladies.

But she always chose to just stay with her siblings because the La Push people looked at her funny when she starts to talk about one Clarke Griffin.

Lexa couldn’t help herself but talk about her ‘friend’.

Clarke Griffin always appeared in her dreams.

Clarke Griffin was part of her life.

Lexa even had drawings on how Clarke looked like.

Anya outright laughed at it.

Lincoln and Ryder stifled their grins.

Tris took one look and smiled brightly. “She looks pretty, Lexa.”

Lexa smiled back and thanked the girl.

Okay. Her drawing was ugly and Indra’s raised brow confirmed it. But Lexa wasn’t good with arts though she was proud of her drawing.

She colored the right yellows and blues.

Drawings and dreams were not the end.

Lexa would talk about Clark Griffin any chance she got. From the moment she could speak and understand most of her dreams, Lexa would blurt out random facts about one Clark Griffin.

Clarke this.

Clarke that.

“The injection hurt a bit at first. But I didn’t cry,” Tris informed at one of their dinners.

“Oh! Clarke knows how to do that, too,” Lexa excitedly piped up. Most of the orphans looked at her with surprise because Lexa seldom talk about her day or anything else. Except when it had a connection with one Clark Griffin. “Her mommy’s a doctor and-”

“Not Clarke again…” Anya grumbled and went up to her room, ignoring Indra’s call.

The older girl, aside from Indra, grew up with the Clarke Griffin stories.

Indra just hummed at Lexa’s bizarre stories of swords and tree people and Clarke Griffin then send her to Dr. Jackson.

Anya at first listened to Lexa’s babble about her dreams but as they grew older, Anya just stood up and left before Lexa could finish her stories.

But her obsession with Clarke Griffin made her a target with the bullies.

Lexa became known as the ‘crazy foster kid’.

The older people tolerated her.

The children didn’t.

Paul was one of them.

One break time, Paul and his friends cornered Lexa and her siblings at their usual table.

Lexa immediately stood up as well as Lincoln and Ryder.

“Hello, orphans,” Paul greeted with a smirk.

“You’re not welcome here, Paul,” Lincoln spoke out as he stood up, his small frame was nothing against Paul’s larger one.

“Ooohhh. I think you’re not the one welcome here, Woods,” Paul mocked and pushed Lincoln back.

Lexa stepped forward and helped Lincoln to stand up. “Go away, Paul.”

Paul and his friends laughed out loud.

“You’re so little. What could you do?“ Paul sneered. “You don’t have a mommy and daddy.” The other kids laughed. “Who’s gonna help you? Your friend _Clarke_?”

Lexa clenched her fists tightly and started to charge at the older boy. But before she could reach Paul, she slammed unto another body. Lexa spluttered and got up only to see a familiar figure punch the daylights out of the bully.

“Who’s next?” Anya lifted her clenched fist and Paul’s friends fled leaving the unconscious boy on the ground.

Anya huffed and pulled Lexa away from the scene.

“Hey, kid.” Anya patted Lexa’s dusty pants. “You’re gonna get hurt if you fight those goons head on by yourself.”

Lexa glared at Anya. “I could take them.”

Anya laughed at the serious face of the younger girl. “Nope. _I_ could.”

Lexa looked up at the older girl. “You’re old.”

“I’m 12,” Anya huffed. “Why don’t you go play with your classmates?”

"No one wants to play with me.”

Anya frowned. “Lincoln and Ryder do.”

“They’re our brothers.”

“Still.”

Lexa gave a hopeful look. “Can I play with you?”

Anya frowns deeper and crosses her arms, clearly disappointed in Lexa’s avoidance on making friends.

“Come ‘on, Anya,” Leah Clearwater bounds over to them. “Lexa’s good in hopscotch.”

“She’s good at anything,” Anya retorts. “Just not with making friends.”

Lexa huffs. “Clarke is my friend.”

Anya scowls.

Leah chuckles and ruffles Lexa’s hair, successfully drawing Anya’s annoyance away from the infamous topic. “You can help me draw the bases,” she says as she hands Lexa a chalk stick.

Lexa looked up at Leah. “Okay.”

Anya groans. “Lexa can’t draw.”

Leah gave out a wry smile as she sees the crooked lines drawn on the ground by the serious black haired girl. “Makes things more exciting, I guess.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa loved the woods.

Well, she wasn’t named Lexa Woods for nothing.

She loved the smell of dirt. She loved the sight of tall trees and falling leaves. She loved the chirps of birds and rustle of hiding wildlife.

She was Lexa Woods and she loved the woods.

The forest was like a second home to her.

Every time she finished her homework or during the weekend, she would run towards the La Push forest and play for hours. She would often drag Lincoln, Ryder, and Tris to play hide-and-seek or Anya when the older girl was not too busy glaring at the other La Push boys or sharpening her scary knives or watching her gory movies.

Lexa also loved animals.

She usually followed the forest animals.

She would quietly crawl and stay behind the bushes or climb the trees just to watch the animals walk around in their natural habitat. She would watch as predators catch their prey. She would listen to the different animal sounds that echo through the forest.

Lexa would often draw the animals she had seen that day.

Anya would straight out laugh at it to the point of rolling on the floor clutching her stomach.

The other orphans would stifle their laughs.

Tris was the only one who appreciated the drawings.

“Is that a horse?”

“No. That’s a deer.”

“Oh! That’s a fish!”

“No. That’s a squirrel…”

Indra had enough of Tris’ wrong guesses and spared the little girl from Lexa’s ‘unique’ outlook on how animals should look like and gave Lexa a small camera.

“For you to show your siblings what you see.” Was Indra’s words as Lexa marveled at the gadget with a shiny lens.

So Lexa used the camera and took as may pictures the device could let her. Indra or Anya would help her get the shot printed. After she received the print outs, Lexa would proudly show her siblings the animals, sometimes it was the forest, sometimes it would be Anya on the ground after the older girl fell when they attempted to build a tree house by themselves without adult supervision.

The orphans marveled at the pictures. Lexa needed to practice with the angles and lighting but Indra congratulated her for the good work. But Lexa felt Indra was just relieved from not having to look at her drawings and to hear Tris’ guesses.

So Lexa continued to go to the forest.

The animals were still wary of her presence but Lexa got to get close with others especially the herd of deer especially when one fawn got trapped by stay shrubbery.

That was when Lexa got her first ‘selfie’ with the animals.

Lexa ran home clutching the camera with a wide smile.

Anya would be so jealous she got a picture with the herd.

When Lexa stepped on the Woods house porch, a sight suddenly made her pause.

A stray cat was currently laying down at Indra’s rocking chair.

It was the same cat Lexa usually saw loitering around the Woods house area.

Indra was not fond of any animals in particular but tolerated the cat.

“The cat eats the mice. Might as well give her just compensation,” Indra commented nonchalantly as she left a piece of leftovers for the cat to eat.

Currently, the cat was lounging lazily but eyed Lexa with sharp green-yellow eyes.

Lexa stared at the cat and something clicked.

Lexa couldn’t explain it but she needed to get close to the cat.

So Lexa befriended the cat.

Or tried to.

The cat was elusive.

Lexa tried to bribe her with food.

The cat only ate when Lexa left or was inside the house.

There was one time that the cat didn’t mind Lexa’s close proximity and busied itself on eating. Lexa took the opportunity to touch the cat.

Only to end up with scratches.

Lexa never gave up. Even with all the scratches and the cat ignoring her, Lexa still strived to befriend the cat.

 

_The room was large and had multiple candles burning for light._

_By the window was Clarke Griffin._

_The girl with blonde hair painted carelessly with red hues and blue eyes looked tired and angry._

_Always angry._

_"If I left, would you stop me?” she suddenly inquired._

_The Commander was free of her dark mask but her words and armor were still intact. “You are not a prisoner here, Clarke,” the Commander answered honestly. Her hands went to the hilt of her sword. A nervous tick. “All I want is your safety.”_

_Clarke chuckled lowly, a sad smile appeared on her lips. “Am I really safe with you, Commander?”_

 

One day, Lexa noticed the cat was getting bigger by the stomach.

Lexa looked down on the bowl of food she was going to give the cat. It was the same amount as always.

Lexa asked Indra and even Anya and the other children if they gave the cat some treats.

Anya scoffed. ”That cat is a menace. Never comes close unless you or Indra give it food.”

“The cat is pregnant, Lexa,” Indra informed before hitting Anya at the head by a spatula. The blonde grumbled while rubbing her head. “That means she’s going to have kittens soon.”

Lexa was suddenly intrigued.

She knew female animals would soon have their own babies but Lexa had never had a chance to observe a pregnant one.

So she tasked herself to observe the stray cat.

She continued to give the cat leftovers, even doubling it with her own share of food during dinners.

Indra noticed this and Lexa feared the older woman would scold her or worst stop Lexa from feeding the cat but Indra just kept silent. Lexa soon noticed her school lunches suddenly had additional snacks.

Lexa silently thanked Indra by doubling her chores.

 

Lexa noticed the cat was staring at her.

Lexa stared back.

The cat meowed.

Lexa was a bit startled.

The cat was often quiet and didn’t address Lexa even at feeding time.

But the cat meowed at Lexa.

Lexa felt something was wrong.

The cat suddenly turned and walked away.

Lexa wasted no time but follow the cat.

It seemed like a smart thing to do because the cat wanted Lexa to follow her.

They soon reached the spot where the Woods tree house was located.

The cat stopped at bushy area and circled a few times and laid down only to stand up and circle around a few times again. The cat was yowling and Lexa felt confused and scared.

What was happening?!

Lexa bolted back towards the Woods house and found Indra at the porch.

“Indra!”

Indra looked up from her novel and narrowed her eyes at Lexa’s bustling form. “What is it, child?”

Lexa stopped in front of Indra, sweaty and harried. “The cat! She’s dying!”

Indra raised a brow. “How are you sure, child?”

“She’s so loud and looked in pain and circling around and around,” Lexa informed quickly, tears were forming in her eyes. “I don’t know what to do!”

Indra was silent for a moment. Lexa sniffed. Eventually, the older woman sighed. “Calm down, Lexa,” she said and placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder. “The cat seems to be giving birth.”

“Huh?”

“She’s pushing out her babies,” Indra clarified simply.

Lexa’s mouth formed an ‘O’ then bolted back towards where the cat was.

Sometime later, another body was beside Lexa.

Anya crouched beside her. “What are you doing?”

Lexa didn’t take her eyes off the scene before her. “The cat’s pushing out her kittens.”

“This is boring.”

“You should go, Anya.”

Anya went silent and stayed.

Lexa and Anya silently observed.

After hours of waiting and loud yowling, the cat finally pushed out all of her kittens.

There were 5 new born kittens. The 4 scrambled and yowled for their mother’s udder.

The 5th one was frozen still.

Lexa silently crouched down and carefully held the still-born kitten.

It was sticky and wet and still.

Lexa felt crying again.

“It’s dead, Anya,” she whispered.

“Lexa.”

“It’s dead, Anya.” Lexa looked up at the older girl, clearly distraught. Even with all the death in her dreams, this was the first time Lexa experienced in seeing someone or something dead. At least in her dreams, Lexa would eventually forget the images until she dreamt of it again. Seeing the kitten not moving nor breathing will be ingrained in Lexa’s mind for a long time. “What should we do?”

Anya places a hand at Lexa’s shoulder. The older girl was disturbed, as well. “Lexa. _The dead are gone. The living are hungry._ ”

Both of them stared at each other. The older girl’s eyes widened a fraction at her words, seemingly dazed. Lexa just furrowed her brows. There was a nagging feeling that those words were familiar. That those words are important.

Anya shook her head, trying to get the daze off her mind. She blinked a few times. “Hungry. Like them. They’re hungry.” Anya points at the newly born kittens who were greedily sucking at their mother’s udder. “Aren’t you hungry?”

Lexa just nodded helplessly.

They both left the mother and her babies quietly.

Lexa buried the dead one.

Anya clasped her at the shoulder and they both went back to the house.

They reported the events to Indra who just nodded and told them to clean up for dinner.

Both of them didn’t talk about the dead kitten again.

Lexa continued to feed the cat who in turn fed her kittens milk.

Lexa befriended the kittens.

A few months later, a loud shrill was heard.

Indra stopped knitting. “What was that?”

“Lexa attacked Paul with kittens,” Anya replied in awe as she and the other villagers watched a teenaged boy running while screaming like a girl while a little girl charged after him with a wooden stick and a litter of kittens yowling.

Indra narrowed her eyes then clucked her tongue. “Children,” she muttered and resumed her knitting

That night, Lexa beamed at Indra and reported her day. Indra just sighed but smiled fondly at the little girl who still had her charcoal mask painted on her face.

“Commander of the kitties,” Anya quipped with a loud snort.

Lexa didn’t seem affronted and puffed out her chest in pride. “I am Commander!”

Anya just snorted louder.

Indra patted the little girl’s head.

“That’s my little Commander.”

Lexa couldn’t wipe off her wide grin for days.

That night, she dreamt of the Commander once again. It was the only time she liked her dream-self.

 

* * *

 

Lexa was a good girl, even though Anya calls her a ‘little shit’ most of the time.

But Lexa was now 10 and seemed to want to strike and play with dirt.

There was not a week that Lexa didn’t go home with scrapes on her knees and blood on her knuckles.

Teachers were deeply concerned and Lexa had her fair shares of Principal’s office summons and detentions because of her tumbles with Paul and his goons.

 

_Clarke enters the room, breathless and angry._

_Always angry._

_"You should not fight Roan, Lexa!”_

_The Commander scoffed. “I am Heda. No one fights for me.”_

_"You might die.”_

_"If I die today, then I accept it.” The Commander gives Clarke a minuscule smile. “Do not worry Clarke. My spirit will choose well.”_

_Clarke clenched her fists. “You will lose, Lexa.”_

_The Commander just stared at Clarke. “You haven’t seen me fight, Clarke.”_

 

Even if Lexa hated the Commander in the dreams, Lexa thought the Commander was cool with the punching and kicking and sword fighting so she copied the movements she could remember even though she knew it was sloppy.

There were times Lincoln and Ryder would join her and the three of them would cause havoc at the school grounds with Paul running around shrilling like a banshee. After multiple detentions and trips to the clinic, that was when Indra stepped up.

How much Indra clucked her tongue and gave Lexa a disappointed look, Lexa still continued to brawl with the La Push boys. She continued to lead her coalition of cats and attack Paul and his crew. She continued to run through the forest and climb trees and make Indra more disappointed.

So much for being a good girl.

“You’re an angry child, Alexandria,” Indra commented one day.

Lexa paused from tying her sneakers and looked up at Indra with furrowed brows. “I am not.”

“You are,” the older woman repeated. “But you can use that anger and turn that to something else.”

“Like what?”

Indra brought Lexa to a local gym.

There were punching and kicking and so much physical activity.

Lexa felt elated.

“Hey, Lexa!”

Leah was waving at one side of the gym. Beside her was Anya.

Anya looked murderous.

Indra pinched the blonde by the ears.

“Teach the girl how to punch properly,” Indra ordered. “But no ruckus.”

Anya smirked. “Don’t you trust me, Indra?”

Indra just pinched her ear again.

Anya howled in pain.

Indra left with a silent warning.

Anya faced Lexa with a smile.

Lexa suddenly felt terrified.

Leah punched Anya at the shoulder and took up Lexa’s warmups.

Leah taught Lexa how to do proper warm ups and stretching.

Anya taught Lexa how to punch and kick without hurting herself.

“Keep your eyes focused. Raise your fist. Keep your feet planted on the ground. Be firm. Keep yourself grounded or someone will pound you on the ground, ‘ya hear?”

“Yes, Anya.”

Weeks passed and Lexa went to the gym every other day after school.

Anya and Leah went with her.

Anya being there for her own work out and to continue to guide Lexa.

Leah being there for her own work out as well and to stop Anya and Lexa from accidentally or intentionally killing themselves.

After a few months of grueling training, Lexa finally landed a hard punch at Anya square in the face.

Leah whooped when Anya fell.

Lexa grinned widely in success.

Anya groaned and stood up.

“Good work, kid,” Anya reluctantly praised, but her eyes were shining with pride.

Lexa turned around to get her water bottle.

Lexa suddenly went down when her foot was hit by something.

Anya was smirking down at her.

“You don’t turn your back on an opponent,” she reminded and laughed off.

Lexa clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes.

Lexa was not a little shit for nothing.

Back at home, Anya squawked.

“That’s my chicken leg!”

Lexa smirked at Anya while taking a bite of the said chicken. “You don’t turn your back on an opponent.”

Anya bared her teeth. “But you’re in front of me!”

“You must be always alert of your surroundings even if you are eating.” Lexa took another bite. “An enemy may be beside you.” And another. “Or in front of you.”

Lexa continued to smirk.

Until a piece of ham slapped unto her smirking face.

Lexa pulled off the ham and narrowed her eyes.

Lincoln was the first to stand and leave the table.

Ryder was second and needed to drag off Tris who was a bit put off while looking longingly at her plate.

Indra was busily reading the paper and didn’t notice the impending fight.

Anya grinned. “Your fight is over.”

Lexa’s eyes were bright with fury. “My fight has just begun.”

30 minutes after, Indra took the rest of the children out for dessert.

Lexa and Anya were left scrubbing the kitchen floor with bright red ears fresh from Indra’s infamous pinching.

 

* * *

 

Lexa was already 12 years old and her dreams still didn’t go away.

She still woke up screaming and trashing and drench with sweat most nights.

More dreams came to her.

The Commander was young and smiling widely at her parents while helping with carrying chopped wood.

The Commander still young but brought to a busy city by an older girl with blond hair mixed black highlights.

The Commander still young but fighting 7 other children to death, black blood painted the ground and the Commander’s body.

The Commander now a teenager and wearing black war paint shaped like tear tracks.

The Commander a teenager and laughing with another girl named Costia.

The Commander turned an adult and forming her coalition of the 12 clans.

The Commander now an adult and meeting Clarke Griffin for the first time.

The Commander dying from a gunshot.

Lexa can’t understand most of her dreams. She can’t still remember faces though she now recognized names.

Indra, Anya, Lincoln, Ryder, and Tris were in her dreams.

Gustus makes her sad and feel hurt.

Titus makes her shiver and angry and she woke up cranky and broody more than Anya in the mornings when she dreamt of him.

 She likes it when she dreams of Anya.

She gets nervous when it was Indra.

She was happy then feels angry when it was Clarke Griffin.

Her dreams had taken toll to her mind and health.

Lexa would have sleepless nights and lighting multiple scented candles could only calm her down.

Lexa would say bizarre things that no one could understand.

She would call her siblings and Indra her crew.

She would call her litter of cats her own coalition.

Dr. Jackson just frowned and continued to write in his notebook.

 

_A young Commander sped towards Titus._

_"I cannot kill them, Titus!” The Commander exclaimed with wide eyes and trembling lips. “Why do I have to kill them?”_

_"To be the Commander is to be alone, Lexa,” Titus replied calmly, eyes the girl with displease. “There can only be one Heda.”_

_The young girl shook her head. “I do not want to be Heda!”_

_The Spirit has chosen you, Leksa,” Titus raged as he grasped the young girl’s arm. The girl gritted her teeth in pain. “You cannot turn down what is your destiny.” Titus released the girl who stumbled down. “You will be Heda.”_

 

Lexa woke up.

Her chest was painful.

She couldn’t breathe.

Lexa tried to call Anya but she didn’t have the energy to do so.

So she endured and clutched at her chest.

After a few minutes of calming her breathing, Lexa slipped out of the house through her window and effortlessly slid down.

Lexa ran until she was near the tree house.

Lexa stopped at the base of the tree and let her back slid down.

A loud rustle was heard and Lexa suddenly stood up.

Something dropped down and Lexa jumped in surprise.

It was a cat.

The cat was one Lexa hadn’t seen before.

Her coalition was composed of the stray cat’s kittens and Lexa was the one who raised the kittens.

This cat was a newcomer.

The cat had white fur clear of any marking.

“W-Who-” Lexa paused. “You have blue eyes.”

The cat sat down at her hind and meowed.

Lexa crouched down. The cat didn’t even flinch. Lexa bit her lip. It was either the cat was too friendly to humans or the cat was devising a plan to trap Lexa into thinking it was friendly enough for a painful scratch.

Lexa just took her chances.

“What should I name you?”

The cat meowed again. Clear blue feline eyes shone in the moonlight.

Lexa hummed and thought for a bit. She let her eyes wander until she saw something that shouldn’t be in the clearing.

“Wow. You killed so many rats, huh?” she commented as she stood up and walked over the bunch of dead rats near the bushes. The cat followed and circled its kills. “You’re like the Commander of Death.”

The cat suddenly yowled and jumped up at Lexa.

Thanks to her 2 years of training, Lexa’s reflexes were fast enough to catch the cat before she gets scratched at the face.

“Clarke?” Lexa stared at the cat who kept on yowling. “N-No. Sorry…”

The cat quieted down after a moment.

Lexa fixed her hold on the cat and brush her hand against the cat’s smooth fur.

Lexa suddenly felt calm.

Her nightmare gone from her mind.

“Can I call you Clark?” she quietly asked. The cat meowed. “Do you like the name?” Another meow. Lexa smiled then wrinkled her nose. “You stink you know?”

The inevitable scratch happened.

 

* * *

 

Anya rubbed her sleepy eyes as she entered the kitchen.

She sat down at one of the stools and waited for Indra to serve breakfast.

She glanced beside her only to squawk in surprise and almost fall down her chair.

“Is that a cat?” Indra hummed. “Inside the house?” Another hum. “Why?”

Indra flipped the pancakes expertly. “That’s Clark.”

“Clarke?“ Anya echoed. She eyed the cat who was sitting at Lexa’s designated chair. “Lexa’s Clarke?”

"Yes and No,” Indra cryptically replied as she turned and served Anya a plate of pancakes. “Just leave them be, Anya, and finish your food.”

Anya was still looking at the cat.

The cat meowed.

Anya looked displeased. “Why does she get a cat? I asked for a dog ages ago.”

Indra just gave Anya a dull look. “We don’t need a dog if you’re around.”

“I resent that!’

 

* * *

 Lexa was now 13 and Indra let her go to a sleepover with Anya and Leah at the Clearwater’s house.

Seth was giddy to have someone in the house close to his age and played PlayStation with Lexa after dinner.

Sam, Leah’s boyfriend, was visiting and joined the two.

Sue and Harry retired to the room and said their good nights.

“Go home, Sam,” Harry warned and gave the boy a serious look.

Sam gulped and nodded.

Leah spanked her father at the arm.

“Dad!”

“Just joking, Lee-Lee.” Harry kissed his daughter by the temple.

“Sorry, Sam,” Leah turned to the boy and gave him a kiss. Which was still not stopping.

Lexa and Seth blushed at the sight and made gagging sounds.

Anya groaned and kicked Sam by the butt.

“Get out, lover boy,” Anya smirked as Leah gave a hard punch at her upper arm. “Aw!”

Sam eventually left and Anya needed to pull Leah away from the boy.  

“Kids.” Anya faced the Seth and Lexa. “Don’t stay up too late, Lexa.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “It’s not a school night, Anya.”

Anya was about to retort when Leah cut in and pulled her best friend up to her room. “Don’t stay up too late, kids!”

“Yes, Leah!” they both replied, eyes still on the TV screen.

“Why don’t they listen to me?” Anya whined.

“You’re scary.” Was Leah’s reply.

“They should be!” and Leah’s door was closed.

Seth grinned. “Mario Kart until midnight?”

Lexa grinned back. “Jake would be so jealous.” The said bow was stuck at home with his older twin sisters.

The two played up to midnight until Leah and Anya trudged down to get the two younger siblings to bed.

Leah ushered Seth to his room while Anya dropped Lexa at Leah’s bed.

Anya and Leah were sharing the laid out sleeping mat on the floor, food wrappers and a laptop on it.

“Sleep, Lexa,” Anya ordered as she plopped down at the mat and resumed with the movie she and Leah were watching.

Leah entered the room and closed the door. She smiled at Lexa who was slowly dozing off to dream land at the bed.

“Sweet dreams, Lexie,” Leah muttered and pulled the blankets up to Lexa’s chin.

 

_A girl with shocking frizzled brown hair silently packed her things and left the room stealthily._

_“_ _Where are you going, Luna?”_

_Luna didn’t look at the girl who was matching her hurried strides. “I’m leaving, Lexa,” Luna replied quietly._

_“Why?”_

_“I do not want to be Heda,” Luna stopped. “I shouldn’t have killed-” Luna stared at the young Commander, eyes hard but full of tears. “I belong to my Kru.”_

_“You can’t leave me, Luna,” the other girl’s voice hitched and grabbed Luna’s hand. “If you leave me I-“_

_“You are strong, Lexa.” Luna grabbed the other girl’s shoulders. “Stronger than all the Natblida.” A wry smile crossed her trembling lips. “You are not as good as me with the sword but you are stronger than me.”_

_“Luna- Beja-”_

_“Do not be afraid, Lexa,” Luna smiled at the other girl and embraced her. The other girl embraced her back fiercely as if she had no intention of letting go. “Ste yuj.” Luna backed away and hitched her pack higher. “You will be Heda. The spirit will choose you.”_

_“I do not want to be Heda, Luna,” the other girl shook her head vehemently. “Do not leave me, beja.” The girl had tears in her eyes, green eyes shone with fear and grief. “You are my sister.”_

_Luna suddenly felt tears fall down from her face. “Moba, Leksa,” she muttered, broken. “Moba.”_

 

“Lexa? Wake up.”

Lexa blinked a few times and groaned.

“Wake up, sleepy head,” Leah chuckled.

Lexa sat up. Anya was still asleep, cuddling her pillow. Leah was standing and waiting for Lexa to get up so she could fix the bed. Lexa left the bed and Leah started tidying up the covers. “Hey, Leah?”

“Hm?”

“You’re a good sister.”

Leah stops fluffing the pillows and looked at Lexa. “Seth tends to disagree on that,” she responds with a chuckle.

“But, you won’t leave him, right?”

“Maybe for college?” Leah seemed confused but saw Lexa’s serious expression. “But, no, Lexa. Even if that boy is often a pain in the bum, he’s my little brother.” Leah smiled. “That wouldn’t change.”

Lexa seemed satisfied at the answer.

Leah finished tidying up the bed and hugged Lexa lightly. “Had a bad dream about sisters?”

Lexa nodded.

Leah hummed. “Well, if you have Anya as a sister…”

Leah felt a pillow hit her head. Anya’s groggy voice spoke up. “I heard that.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa was 14 and was already sculpting for a living.

Sometimes it was wood carvings.

Sometimes it was candles.

Indra would help her in selling in Forks.

Lexa would seldom accompany her. Lexa didn’t like Forks much. And Lexa didn’t like the shop owner Indra goes to sell the items. Someone named Niylah. She was blonde and kind. But the shop owner tend to look at Lexa like a hawk whenever Lexa visits the shop. It made Lexa’s skin crawl unpleasantly.

But her carvings were an additional income for the Woods and Lexa’s allowance. Lexa didn’t know how Indra gets additional funds for fostering but the older woman always had food to serve three times a day and bills were promptly paid. But Lexa wanted to help and Indra just nodded proudly.

One morning, she was walking towards the Black house to deliver her latest works to Billy Black when she saw a police cruiser.

She saw that particular cruiser before. It was owned by Fork’s sheriff.

Speaking of the Sheriff, he was standing at the Black’s front porch.

“Hey,” the large man greeted. His eyes were brown and kind. His mustache was kind of thick and twitching. “You lost, kid?”

“No,” Lexa replied while looking suspiciously at the large man with a bushy mustache and a Stetson.

“Oh. Hey, Charlie,” Billy Black greeted as he went out of his house.

“Morning, Billy.”

“That’s Lexa,” Billy introduced. “She’s one of the foster kids.” Billy furrowed his brows. “I don’t see anyone gettin’ adopted since…forever.” His wrinkled face scrunched further. “I don’t even know how old Ms. Indra is. I don’t remember…”

“Oh.” Charlie smiled down. “I got a kid as well. Small like you.”

“I’m not small,” Lexa refutes with a glower a 14 year old could muster.

Her height was one of Lexa’s insecurities. It was a blessing she reached 5 feet an over. Tris who was younger than her for 5 years was as tall as her now.

“You’re just big and tall.”

Charlie smiled fondly. “Smart,” he commented. “Wanna go fish?”

Lexa wrinkled her nose. “No.”

Charlie frowned. “You don’t like fish?”

“No.”

“I’ll change your mind.”

“No.”

Billy just laughed off. “Good luck with that, Charlie.”

The Sheriff wrapped his arm around Lexa and began spouting facts about fishing. Lexa didn’t look pleased but minded her manners and listened attentively at the older man.

Billy quietly chuckled all the way beside them.

When they reached the Clearwater’s abode, Leah and Harry were already waiting.

Leah waved. “Hey, Chief. Hey, Lexa.”

Harry scrunched his brows. “Lexa’s going with us?”

Charlie looked proud. “Yup.”

Leah gave a knowing smirk. “Lexa doesn’t like fish.”

Charlie didn’t look deterred. “I’ll change her mind.”

“Lexa’s the Commander of Kitties,” Leah continued. “Cats hate water.”

Now, Charlie wavered. “K-Kitties?”

“12,” Lexa responded proudly.

As if summoned, cats suddenly showed up.

Charlie eyed the cats. “That’s 13.”

“Clark is special. He does not need a Commander.” Lexa looked down at the only white furred feline of the litter. Blue eyes twinkled. “He is his own Commander.”

Billy Black shook his head. “Kids, Charlie.”

When Lexa got home, Indra’s usual stoic mask almost broke when she saw Lexa’s disgruntled face with a bag full of freshly caught fish held by two hands.

“I hate fish,” Lexa whined as much as a 14 year old could and dumped the bag on the sink and pouted at Indra. “But Chief Swan was nice. He gave me candy.”

“Did you say thank you?” Indra patted the girl’s head and opened the bag and surveying the contents.

“Yes,” Lexa nodded. “Even caught a few for him.”

“That’s nice, Lexa. Why don’t you take a bath while I cook these for dinner?”

Lexa scrunches up her nose in disgust but went up to take a bath because she was a good girl.

Indra just hummed while cleaning the fish with practiced ease.

Anya entered through the back door and saw the items.

“Did Uncle Harry give us some?”

“Lexa fished.”

Anya almost fell down in shock. “She hates water! Says there is a dangerous snake in our lake!”

Indra just shrugs.

 

* * *

 Anya was the oldest foster child in the Woods house.

She was the big sister and Lexa and the others had always looked up to her.

Anya was brash and mostly cold and broody but she protected all of the orphans when other children teased them or when adults looked down at them.

Lexa loved Anya.

Even though the older girl mostly called her a little shit.

But Lexa was Anya’s little shit, so she was fine with that.

 

_"Fos!’_

_A young girl with dark hair tied in tight braids and bright green eyes called out._

_The blonde with dark roots went down on one knee but the young Commander growled and pulled the older girl who was smirking. “Seken. Or should I say, Heda.”_

_"Even if I am Heda, you will always be my Fos, Anya.”_

_Anya’s smirk lightened to a genuine proud smile. “I am so proud of you, Leksa.”_

 

In her dreams, Anya was the Commander’s mentor.

In her dreams, Anya was strict.

In her dreams, Anya was her first and only friend.

Lexa cried and was needed to be hushed by Indra when Lexa woke up from another dream about Anya.

"She died, Indra,” Lexa sobbed. “Clarke brought me her braid. She told me she died.”

“Anya is alive, Lexa,” Indra whispered, her strong voice was gentle. “Clarke is wrong.”

Indra may be right. Her therapist may be right. Anya may also be right.

Clarke may be wrong, but Lexa would not let danger come to Anya.

So Lexa followed Anya.

Lexa shadowed Anya.

Lexa learned whatever Anya learned.

Lexa befriended whoever Anya befriended.

Lexa became Anya’s second.

Which Anya found it irritating to the point of kicking Lexa out of a club since Lexa was only 14 then and Anya had older friends and a fake ID.

“Kid, I’m not going to be around forever,” Anya poked Lexa.

Lexa stood up straighter. “I won’t let you out of my sight, Anya.”

Anya just laughed at Lexa’s stubbornness.

But Lexa continued to follow Anya. Until she couldn’t anymore.

Lexa knew it was bound to happen.

Anya was going off to college.

She was leaving La Push for a year. Anya wasn't even going home for the holidays to save money.

But Lexa felt that she was leaving her for good.

“You’re gonna be okay here, kid?” Anya saw the look on the younger girl’s face. “Leah will be here for another year. You won’t be alone.”

“Okay.”

“Cheer up, Commander.” Anya nudged Lexa by the shoulder but the younger girl sulked even more. “Don’t look like you’re gonna miss me.”

Lexa gave Anya a sad look. “But I will miss you.”

Anya frowned.

Lexa just continued to sulk.

 

_“Anya and I believed that we should work together.”_

_The Commander looked impassive. “Where is Anya?”_

_Clarke Griffin’s shoulders dropped a bit. “She died while we were escaping the mountain.”_

_“Lies!” Indra shouted angrily as she stepped forward towards the blonde but the Commander held up her hand. “No one leaves the mountain alive!”_

_Clarke Griffin ignored the fuming woman and reached into her pocket and automatically the guards of the Commander moved._

_But the Commander lifted her hand and let Clarke Griffin retrieve the item from her pocket and handed it over to the Commander’s waiting hand._

_The Commander received the item._

_The Commander played with the lone braid for a few moments. “Did she died peacefully?” she asked aloofly, but her voice betrayed her grief._

_The blonde’s eyes were so blue and the Commander could feel the guilt in it. “Yes.”_

Lexa woke up drenched in sweat.

A familiar weight was on her stomach and she saw the bright blue eyes of her friend.

She fumbled for her phone and dialed.

 _“What’s up, Commander?”_ Anya’s sleepy voice answered. _“Can’t sleep?”_

“Anya,” Lexa murmured.

_“What is it, Lexa?”_

“I’m having those dreams again…”

Anya groaned. _“Clarke wanting to kill you again?”_

“Clarke giving me your braid,” Lexa replied shakily. “You were killed in the mountain.”

 _“Lexa…”_ Anya sighed. _“I’m alive. My braids are intact. I’m not dead.”_

“You were…”

_“Kid…”_

Lexa clutched the phone tighter. “I’m scared, Anya…”

_“To fear doesn’t mean you are not brave. But Lexa. I am alive so you don’t need to worry.”_

Lexa wanted to argue but Anya was right.

Anya is alive.

Anya was not dead.

The dead are gone. The living are hungry.

Lexa’s stomach grumbled. Clark meowed in disgruntlement.

Okay. Lexa needed to stop thinking about those words.

“See you in Spring break?”

Anya chuckled sleepily. _“Don’t miss me too much, ya’ hear?”_

 

* * *

 

“Commander!”

“Lexa!”

Lexa stopped jogging and let Lincoln and Jake catch up with her.

“Wow, Lexa…you run…so fast…” Jake panted as they neared.

“What do you need?”

“Jake and I have a project due tomorrow,” Lincoln started and glared at his best friend who was now on the ground panting for air. “Mr. Black needs someone to drive his old truck to Chief Swan’s.”

Lexa looked down at the still panting boy. “Jake can’t go.”

Lincoln nodded. “We really need to finish that project or I’m gonna kill Jake.”

Lexa almost agreed with the latter idea. Lincoln frowned deeper. Jake still needed air.

“Fine.”

Lexa and Lincoln dragged a breathless Jake towards the Black residence where Billy was impatiently waiting. One look at his son, Billy just shook his head and gave the keys to Lexa. Lincoln gave a grateful look at Lexa then dragged Jake inside the house.

When Lexa saw the truck, she grimaced and shared a look with Billy.

"This one is sturdy," the old man said as he patted the hood.

Lexa watched as rusted flecks flew as Billy patted it. "We won't die, will we, Uncle Billy?"

Billy just gave Lexa a glare.

The drive to the Forks Chief's house was quiet. Billy was usually a man of few words except when the football game was on. Lexa enjoyed the silence as much as she can get.

When they got to the Swan house, the driveway was empty.

"This is a surprise for Bella," Billy explained. "I couldn't drive anymore and this baby can still move."

Lexa helped Billy out of the car. "Well, your 'baby' moves like an grandpa in a walker."

Billy glared at her again and Lexa couldn't help but chuckle.

The police cruiser arrived and Charlie stepped out with a wide grin.

Bella Swan still looked awkward as Lexa had remembered her. Chief Swan only brought his daughter to the reservation during summer breaks and she and Lexa had different group of friends. Lexa wasn’t even sure if Bella knew the Woods house at the edge of the reservation.

“Hey, Lexa!”

“Heya, Chief Swan.”

“Charlie is fine, kid,” Charlie chuckled. “Bella! Do you remember Lexa? You play with her before right?”

“Not really. I remember Rebecca and Rachel more,” Bella Swan replied with a small smile. She looked slightly exhausted. “Hi.”

“Heya,” Lexa greeted back. She eyed the luggage. “Need help?”

“S’fine,” Bella replied with a shrug.

“I have a surprise for you, Bella.” Charlie seemed excited but at the same time embarrassed. His slightly reddened face and twitching mustache was the sign. “Remember you told me you needed a car?”

“Yep. Been saving whole three summers.” Bella nodded with narrowing eyes.

“Well, Billy’s occupied-”

Billy smacked Charlie by the butt. “Occupied my ass, you old sheriff!”

“-so he sold me his truck,” Charlie continued as he evaded more slaps from Billy.

“Wow.” Bella’s eyes grew wide. “Thank you, Char- Dad!”

Charlie looked even redder. “Everything for you, kiddo.”

The two men went inside the house leaving the teens for a football game on T.V.

“Jake – Billy’s son – did most of the rehauling,” Lexa explained as she handed the keys to the other girl. “I really don’t know if this will last but its sturdy.” She gave Bella a serious look as she knocked on the hood. “Really sturdy.”

“I see that,” Bella smiled then a wistful look cross her face as she glanced over the house where Charlie’s voice was heard. “Charlie’s trying too hard…” she sighed then paused as she turned to Lexa with wide eyes. “S-Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Lexa smiled. “Hope this doesn’t crash on you.”

“It’s either this or the police cruiser,” Bella said with a grimace. “I’ll take my chances on this one.”

 

* * *

 

School season was also busy season in the Reservation especially in the famous La Push beach.

Students from Forks were always lounging around even though the water was freezing cold.

Lexa was not a fan of beaches but she would usually sit at an exposed sturdy tree root by the edge of the forest trail that led out to the beach area after taking a hike with her coalition.

Which was what she was doing now.

Normally, the Forks crowd stayed far away from the forest area which pleased Lexa.

But not today.

Two figures were walking towards the secluded area of the beach near the entrance to the forest trails.

It was Bella Swan and Jacob Black.

Bella Swan awkwardly flirting.

Jacob Black trying and failing to blush.

Bella Swan asking about the Cullens.

Jacob Black succumbing to Bella Swan’s awkward flirting.

Jacob Black retelling the tales of the Cold Ones.

Bella Swan listening in rapt attention.

Lexa sighed and called out to them.

“Jake.”

Jake jumped in surprise then grinned. “Heya, Lexa!”

Lexa stood up and walked towards them.

“This is Bella! Bella Swan.”

“Chief’s daughter.”

“Yup!”

Lexa raised her brow at Bella. “Lexa Woods.”

Bella gave a small smile at Lexa. “Nice to meet you again, Lexa.”

Jake looked at them with confusion. “You know each other?”

“I drove the old Chevy, remember?”

"Oh.”

“I need to go back to my friends,” Bella excused herself. “It was nice meeting you again, Lexa.”

Lexa and Jake watched as Bella Swan walked away.

“She’s nice.”

“Yeah…”

Lexa glanced at the boy. Jake was just 14 and Bella was 16 that was a year older than Lexa. “You like her?”

Jake reddened. “No! Why would I?”

Lexa shook her head then grew serious. “You shouldn’t have told her about our tribe’s history, Jacob.”

“She’s just curious.” Jake shrugged. “And she’s close to the Cullens.”

They both got silent.

“Do you believe it? The Cold Ones?”

"Maybe.” Jake shrugged again. “It’s cool. We turn to wolves and we fight those evil leeches like superheroes!” he exclaimed with both fists in the air.

Lexa snorts. “Fighting them with our snouts?”

Jake’s excitement dwindled as his face scrunched up at the gruesome image. “Gross…”

“Just be careful, Jake.” Lexa nudged the boy. “You know your old folks do not like outsiders.”

“I know. Except Chief Swan.”

“Except Chief Swan.” Lexa nodded in agreement.

 

* * *

 

It was a new year.

Lexa turned 16.

Lexa suddenly got the flu.

Lexa rarely get sick.

A little cough and fever from training and hiking and cuddling with her cats but never something serious.

But the Reservation suddenly had an epidemic that targeted mid to late teens.

Lexa was one of them.

For once, Indra looked worried and told Lexa to skip school and stay in bed.

Lincoln and Tris went to her room with a bowl of Indra’s famous chicken soup.

Lexa wanted to throw up when the scent of food hit her nose and guiltily shooed the two out.

“Anya,” Lexa groaned at the phone. “I think I’m sick.”

" _Did you already take meds?”_ Lexa just huffed. _“Go to Indra. Let her rub you down a sponge bath.”_

"I’m too old for a sponge bath, Anya…” she whined.

_"You’re 15.”_

 “16 tomorrow.”

_"Happy birthday, kid.”_

Lexa sighed. “Thanks, Anya.”

_"Now, go to sleep.”_

Lexa did.

 

* * *

 

_The bald man named Titus hit the skinny girl with braids on the stomach with a thick stick._

_“To feel pain only means you are not doing your best,” he hissed as he hit the girl in braids at the legs._

_The girl in braids stared hard on the ground, black blood on her lips. “Yes, Titus.”_

_Another hit. “You should strive more, Leksa.”_

_"Yes, Titus.”_

_“Do not let emotions cloud your mind,” the bald man crouches down and punches the girl at the jaw. The girl flinched and almost fell down but she steadied herself and resumed her position. “That is weakness, Leksa. Heda does not have weakness.”_

 

Lexa woke up with the most painful headache she had ever experienced.

More painful than when she fell down from her tree house and hit her head.

More painful than when Anya purposely kick her in the stomach then knock her in the head.

It was a splitting headache that made Lexa moan and groan in pain. She held her head and almost crawled towards the door. She needed Indra or Lincoln or anyone.

Her clothes were drenched from sweat. Dark hair stuck to her face. Lexa felt she was dying.

Her heart hammered painfully in her chest.

Her vision blurred.

Her arms and legs were trembling.

She felt hot and cold at the same time.

Was this how it felt to die?

 

_“Lexa! No! No! No!”_

_Clarke Griffin._

_Clarke was crying._

_Why was she crying?_

_And what was the pain she was feeling?_

_It was like…she was dying._

_“Clarke…”_

_“No, Lexa! Please!”_

_“My fight is over…”_

_“No, Lexa!”_

_A smile. “Death is not the end.”_

Lexa opened her eyes.

Grass and dirt.

Was she outside?

Lexa groaned and stood up. She shook her head.

The pain was gone.

The headache. The body ache. The fever and chills.

All gone.

Strange.

Lexa surveyed where she was.

She was near the lake located at the middle of the forest. She walked towards it.

Her throat was parched and needed a drink.

She looked down at the water.

Her heart suddenly lurched.

Her eyes widened.

This was the most vivid dream she was having.

More vivid than her dreams about Clarke Griffin of the Sky People, the Mountain, and swords.

In front of her was a wolf’s face.

Dark fur and a large snout.

Wide green wolfish eyes stared back at her.

If Lexa’s unexplained dreams made her insane sometimes, this took the top spot for her to be shipped first class to the mental hospital.

No! She’s not crazy!

Lexa huffed and closed her eyes.

Strange.

She could hear a lot.

She could smell a lot.

Lexa opened her eyes.

She could see a lot.

Maybe…she was really a wolf.

Lexa trotted towards the lake again and looked down at her reflection.

She leaned down and let her tongue lapped at the cold water.

She could taste a lot.

Lexa sighed and drank as much as she could.

She lifted her head and licked her chops.

She could feel the breeze at its brush her fur.

Lexa blinked.

Her mind was suddenly peaceful.

Maybe turning into a gigantic wolf was not so bad, after all.

She turned and suddenly stiffened.

A wagging tail.

She had a wagging tail.

Irritation suddenly flared.

Damn, tail! She needed to bite that infuriating tail!

Lexa lunged at her bushy tail. She opened her snout and bit. And she bit and she bit.

Okay. Now she understood the dog’s fascination for catching their tail.

It was fun and frustrating at the same time.

Why could she not catch her tail- aha!

Lexa snickered when her teeth caught her furry tail.

Then what?

She released her tail then had the urge to catch it again.

No!

Lexa stopped.

She wasn’t a dog.

Well, she could transform into a wolf.

But she should not act like a dog!

A whimper came out of her throat.

What should she do?

Another animal sound was heard. Lexa picked it up.

Prey!

Lexa bolted and ran towards the source of the sound.

She ran as fast as her paws could.

Lexa felt she was flying as she zoomed across the forest.

The wind felt amazing as it brushed her fur.

How fast she was going, she could still see her surroundings.

It was exhilarating.

Lexa ran faster and finally caught up with her prey.

She jumped.

Lexa gave out a wolfy grin as she caught her prey between her paws and the ground.

Then she stiffened.

It was an Elk. And Elk who was eyeing her in fear.

Lexa scrambled away and the Elk stumbled and ran.

Lexa whimpered and plopped down at the ground.

What was she thinking? Running after that Elk? What was she going to do? Eat the Elk?

Realization crashed unto her and Lexa howled.

NO!!!

Lexa paced.

She was not a wolf. She was a normal girl with a normal life. She didn’t have parents but she had Indra and Anya and the other orphans.

She was normal.

But her wagging tail thumped her normality.

She wasn’t normal.

Why did she turn into a wolf? Was her parents some kind of werewolves?!

Lexa looked up at the sky.

No. it wasn’t even a full moon. She wasn’t a werewolf. Maybe a Shifter? She had to research about that.

Lexa huffed and stood up on four legs and began to roam around the woods. She explored more of the forest now that she could see and jump better.

Sometime later, she came across an area where she needed to bolt away immediately.

Her nose burned and she sneezed a lot and rolled over the dirt just to get the smell away from her sensitive nose.

What was that?! It smelled like roadkill left to long in the sun mixed with different kinds of cleaning products and wet dog.

Lexa whimpered and placed her paws at her nose.

So much for having a sensitive nose.

Her ears suddenly perked up.

She could hear something approaching.

A different scent suddenly wafted the air.

It was familiar at the same time revolting.

Her inner instincts told her it wasn’t an enemy but she was not fond of the scent’s owner.

Two other scents joined the first and Lexa needed to flee.

Wait. Were there others like her? What if those scents belong to someone she knew who shifted into a wolf as well? It was a possibility that she was not the only who can transform.

But her instincts told her to run away and so she did.

She ran until she couldn’t smell the scents anymore.

But where should she go?

It was still school time so no one but Indra would be in the house. The forest was usually devoid of any human activity at this time of the day.

So Lexa trotted towards a familiar place.

She sighed in relief when she saw her clothes littered at the base of the tree house. How it got there was something Lexa didn’t ponder at the minute.

Her coalition of cats and even Clark wasn’t in the vicinity.

A new dilemma suddenly emerged.

How to shift back?

Lexa paced to and fro.

How? How? How?

She couldn’t stay in this form. How can she explain to Indra and the others that she was a wolf now?

Lexa sat at her hind.

A thought popped in her mind.

What would the Commander do if she ever turned into a wolf?

The Commander might just command herself to be human again. Because she was _Heda_.

Lexa perked at that.

Right! Be human!

Be human.

But is shifting to an overgrown wolf considered to be human?

Think, Lexa.

Two legs.

Two arms

Less furry.

Stand up!

Lexa felt her a snap and she howled in pain.

Next thing she knew, a hand was covering her face.

A human hand.

She was back to being a two legged creature.

Lexa groaned but bit her lip from crying out loud when she moved.

Her bones felt it was snapped into pieces. Maybe that was what really happened. But it hurt.

Lexa slowly stood up and shakily grabbed her clothes and wore them.

She trudged towards the Woods house and as times goes by she was feeling better until she was running towards the front porch.

Silently, Lexa opened the door and entered.

“Lexa?”

Lexa paused and turned to Indra who was reclined at her favorite chair near the fireplace.

Dark brown eyes narrowed.

“Why are you up? Didn’t I tell you to take a rest?”

“I felt better when I took a nap,” Lexa quickly replied.

Indra frowned. “Your fever was over 108.”

“I sweat it off.”

Indra didn’t look convinced. Lexa stared hard at her. Indra stared back.

“You work too hard, Lexa,” Indra finally relented. “Just go back to bed. I’ll wake you up when it’s dinner time.”

Lexa kept her hard stare. “Thank you, Indra.”

And Lexa sped off towards her room and shut the door.

She leaned at the door and sighed in relief.

Slowly, she walked towards her bed where her friend was waiting for her.

“I had the weirdest day, Clark,” Lexa started as she lied down on the bed.

‘You did?’

“Yeah…” Lexa sighed and closed her eyes only to open it again widely and sat up in alarm. “Wait- What?!”

She stared at her cat who was looking back at her with his sharp blue eyes.

“Y-You can speak?”

Clark licked his paw. ‘I can?’

Lexa felt sick. “I can understand you…”

Clark meowed and gave a curious tilt of the head. ‘I believe you can.’

“You speak like an old British folk…”

‘I’m cultured.’

Lexa grimaced. “And obnoxious.” Clark looked proud at that. “I can’t believe this. I’m talking to the cat. I shifted into a giant wolf earlier. I’m going insane.” She rattled off as she held her head between her hands and did breathing exercises.

Clark purred. ‘Did you chase your tail?’

“Yes!” Lexa exclaimed, hands in the air.

Clarke looked pleased. ‘Dogs.’

“Lex?” The door suddenly opened. Jake, with Lincoln and Seth behind him, peaked inside. “Who are you talking to? And why is Clark so noisy?” Clark hissed at him. “Don’t tell me you’re talking to the cat.” The boys grimaced. “Is your fever so high you’re becoming delirious?!”

“Shut up, Jacob. Get out!”

“But-”

“Get out! Please!”

Jake pouted but turned and shut the door.

When she was sure the door was shut, Lexa turned back to her friend. “Clark? I’m not dreaming, right?”

Clark lazily blinked back. ‘You are not, my good friend.’

“I just turned into a wolf earlier. I shifted and even drank from the stream with my snout in the water…”

‘I believe you.’

“You do…?”

Her friend brushed his body against Lexa’s hand. ‘Of course.’

Lexa sighed and rubbed her friend’s head. “Thanks, Clark.”

‘You are welcome, Commander.’

“We’re not going to fight just because I turn to a large dog, right?”

‘Of course not, Alexandria,’ Clark almost looked affronted. ‘We all know that the feline specie is better.’ He flicks his tail. ‘Why would I instigate a fight between us when I know I’m better? That would be foolish.’

Lexa just pushed him off the bed.

Clark jumped back at the bed and sat at her face.

 

* * *

 

Lexa’s ability to shift was not hidden too long from the La Push council.

Lexa instincts were right the first time she shifted.

She was not alone.

Lexa felt relieved at that. It only meant that she was not only the abnormal one.

For once.

Lexa spent a few weeks enjoying her ability to shift. She spent a lot of time in the woods learning what she could do with her wolf-form.

Until she met one of the other Shifters.

It was another massive wolf with black fur like hers.

Dark coal eyes stared at Lexa’s green ones.

**Who are you?**

**Who are _you_?**

The other wolf huffed. **I asked you first.**

Lexa huffed back. She eyed the other wolf suspiciously. Her instincts didn’t alert violently like last time. It seemed that this Shifter was friendly and the other Shifter’s scent was more pleasant than before.

**I am Lexa.**

The other wolf suddenly looked surprise. After a few seconds the other wolf tilted his head at the direction of the residential area. **Follow me.**

Lexa huffed and trotted after the other wolf.

She went straight towards the foster house tree house and shifted back. She put on her clothes quickly and ran back to the Woods house.

“Hi, Lexa,” Tris greeted as Lexa came in. “Mr. Black called. He’s looking for you.”

Lexa paused. “Billy?”

Tris nodded. “Maybe he wants another wood carving?”

Lexa pursed her lips. Not quite. “Maybe.” She turned back towards the door. “I’ll go visit him.”

“Just get back before dinner!” Tris waved and went back to her reading.

Lexa waved back and ran towards the Black house.

Billy Black and Harry Clearwater were waiting for her when she arrived.

“Please come with us, Lexa,” Billy said as she was near enough.

“Where are we going?”

Harry smiled and ruffled Lexa’s hair like she was back to being ten years old. “We’re gonna talk to a bunch of old men.”

Lexa frowned. “That’s creepy.”

Harry sighed dramatically which reminded Lexa of Leah. “I know. We’re creepy. Hop in.”

Lexa trusted these two men and went in the back of Harry’s truck. They drove towards the Council Hall where a few trucks were already parked.

As Lexa stepped out of the car, a familiar scent hit her nose immediately.

The other Shifter she met earlier was here.

Harry wheeled Billy towards the ramp and Lexa followed them inside.

Gruff voices were already heard and it seemed a heated argument were already happening.

“A female Shifter?!”

“That’s impossible!”

“Starting without us?” Harry good-naturedly said as they entered.

Lexa surveyed the area.

It was true. They were going to talk to old men.

The La Push councilmen.

Lexa sighed. She didn’t like these people. They were the ones who always looked at her funny and didn’t like her for being the ‘crazy girl’.

But the bigger question right now: Why do they need to talk to her? Do they know about the shifting? The wolves?

“Lexa,” Billy’s voice brought back Lexa to the present. “Please seat down.”

Lexa eyed the remaining chair and sat down.

Billy cleared his throat. “It has come to our attention that you could shift.”

Lexa stiffened. “Yes.”

“Impossible!”

“Lies!”

Billy glared at the interrupters and turned to Lexa again. “When did you Shift?”

“Just after the new year,” Lexa replied. “I felt sick then I shifted.”

“You were not feeling angry?”

“No.” Lexa shook her head. “I just felt sick. I was in pain. My head hurt. My muscles were sore.”

Billy seemed impressed. “And you were able to shift back?”

“Yes. I just thought of two legs and two arms and not furry ones.”

“You are truly talented, Lexa,” Billy said in awe.

“Don’t let your affiliation with the girl cloud your judgement, Billy,” one of the councilmen cut in.

Billy frowned. “You heard her. She shifted.”

“Sorry, Billy. But there is no record of any females turning into Spirit Warriors.”

“Lexa may be the first,” Billy retorted. “We don’t have rules for Shifting. And it isn’t as if we can stop her from shifting.”

“How can she be one of us if she doesn’t even have any relation to our ancestors?”

The group of old men murmured to each other.

Lexa felt the need to shush them but kept mum in her seat.

She wasn’t the Commander.

She wasn’t _Leksa_.

“Order,” old Quill spoke out and the others went silent. The oldest of the elders stared at Lexa and Lexa stared back at him. “This girl has shifted into one of our ancestors’ sacred form,” old Quill started. “If she shifts into a wolf and pledges to protect our tribe then she is one of us.”

The group of old men turned toward Lexa and she sat straighter and lifted her chin.

“I still don’t understand what is happening or what I should protect this tribe from,” Lexa started. “But I would do everything to protect my crew- my family.”

“But what about our people?” “The Wolf Spirit is from our ancestors. You are borrowing our power.”

“Then I will protect your people, if you protect mine,” Lexa bargained as she looked at the councilmen straight at the eye.

“The child speaks true,” old Quil states. A rare smile crossed his ips. “She is one of the pack.”

The others grumbled but didn’t say anything else.

“From now on, you are member of the pack, Lexa,” Billy Black announced with a small smile. Harry Clearwater was giving her a thumbs up at the side. Lexa shook her head and smiled at the men.

“Welcome, Lexa,” a familiar form said. “I am Sam Uley – the Alpha.”

“The Alpha is usually the leader,” Billy explained. “You answer to him.”

 

_“I am the Commander. No one fights for me.”_

Lexa felt repulse at the idea of submitting to another.

But…

“Yes,” Lexa grit out as she stood up and grasped Sam’s forearm tightly. Sam winced at the force but grasped Lexa’s back. “I understand.”

The next day, Sam was at the door bright in the morning.

Indra eyed the young man.

From a lanky kid, Sam grew to a bulky man and shot up to above 6 feet.But Indra was tall and sturdy and stood head to head with the Alpha.

“What do you need, Sam Uley?” Indra inquired with her usual calm voice.

Sam cleared his throat. “I am here for Lexa.”

Indra’s eyes narrowed. “Lexa is young for you.”

Sam blushed deeply. Indra glared harder. Lexa stifled her laughter and stepped in to save her Alpha.

“Indra,” Lexa cut in. “I’m going to train with Sam from now on.” Lexa looked at Sam then at Indra. “Mountain climbing.”

Indra crossed her arms tightly. “He is old for you, Lexa.”

“It’s not that,” Lexa waved her hand as she tried and failed to hide her blush. “Sam is Leah’s boyfriend.”

Indra hummed but was still unconvinced. “Do not let emotions cloud your judgement.”

Lexa wanted to groan out but just placed a hand at her foster mom’s arm. “Please, Indra.”

Indra sighed deeply. “Just go home before dinner.”

“Yes, Indra.”

Lexa waved farewell and led Sam away from the Woods house.

“I’m sorry about Indra.”

“She is your Mother,” Sam responded with hid deep tone. “I understand her worries.”

“How are you and Leah?” Lexa inquired after a few beats of silence. “I’m a bit surprised she’s not raving about you.”

Sam suddenly looked uncomfortable. “We’re fine.” But his tone wasn’t fine.

Lexa glanced at him then dropped the subject. Leah and working out in the gym were two topics the two of them only had in common. Add turning into a massive wolf to that but that was all. So they just opted to walk in silence until they reached the other Shifters.

Now, Lexa knew why she was revolted at the scent the first time she caught a whiff of another Shifter’s scent.

It was none other than Paul Lahote.

Paul was sneering as always and sneered more when he saw Lexa.

The other was Jared Cameron. She only knew him as Sam’s best friend. She knew Lincoln and Ryder were friends with him as well. All she knew that he was friendly and quiet.

“Ooohhh…lil’ Lexa’s one of us, huh?” Paul sneered. “Now we get a free show, boys.”

“No one gets a free show,” Sam barked out and pushed Paul away. Jared snickered and both boys pushed at one another “We’ll go on a run then we’ll discuss about patrol schedules.”

The boys went away to shift and left Lexa on her own. She looked left and right and undressed quickly. She tied her clothes to her ankle and shifted.

When Lexa neared them, chaos ensued.

 **Why can’t I hear her thoughts?!** , Paul screeched out.

The three wolves looked at Lexa with confusion and suspicion.

 **She’s defective. Just like not having parents** , Paul sneered and snapped his jaws at Lexa.

Lexa gave out a warning growl but Paul pushed forward until the both of them snapped at each other.

**Paul! Lexa!**

Sam barked out orders to stop.

Lexa’s growl grew louder.

Paul still charged at Lexa.

Sam had enough.

**PAUL! LEXA! STAND DOWN!**

Instantly, Paul went down with a painful whine escaping his snout.

Sam huffed then glanced at Lexa but yipped in surprise when the other wolf was still standing.

A loud growl was still reverberating in Lexa’s chest but Lexa didn’t move to attack. She just stared down at the prone Paul on the ground.

Then, Lexa leveled her stare at Sam.

Sam visibly shivered.

Jared who was silent at the side felt himself piss.

Bright green eyes bored at the other three Shifters.

 **You may be Alpha of this pack** , Lexa’s thoughts suddenly slipped through the pack-link startling the boys. **But I am, first and foremost, the Commander.**

Lexa turned and ran away.

 

* * *

 

She wasn’t the Commander.

The Commander kills.

The Commander was ruthless.

The Commander was lonely.

Lexa didn’t want that.

She wanted to be normal.

She wanted to climb trees.

She wanted to take pictures of the animals and run with her cats.

She wanted to carve wood and light candles.

She wanted to stay with Anya and Indra and Lincoln and Tris and Ryder.

She wasn’t the Commander.

She didn’t want to be like _Leksa_.

 

_The girl with the tight braids of raven hair stood at the center of the ring. Her blades soaked and dripped in black blood. Seven bodies slumped on the ground motionlessly._

_Green eyes were dazed._

_"Congratulations, Leksa,” Titus started as he approached the unmoving figure. For the first time, Titus smiled genuinely. “The new Heda. The Commander of Blood.”_

_"I killed them.”_

_“You did,” Titus affirmed, pleased. “You were brave and strong, Leksa. You are Heda.”_

_"I killed them.”_

_"For you to live.” Titus gripped the new Commander’s shoulder tightly. “The dead are gone. The living are hungry. Always remember that.”_

 

“Lexa?”

Clark meowed as Indra entered the room.

“Did the boy break your heart?”

Lexa let out a watery chuckle. She wiped her eyes with an arm. “No. I don’t like him like that, Indra.”

“Then, what is the matter?”

 Lexa looked down. She didn't know.

“You know, Alexandria,” Indra started. “Of all my foster children, you are the only one I could not understand.”

“That is impossible, Indra,” Lexa huffed. “You know me.”

“Yes. But you are unpredictable.” Indra brushed the errant strands from Lexa's face. “You are smart. You are kind. You are loyal to a fault. You do everything for your crew.” Indra tapped Lexa's nose. “That is what I do not understand.”

“I love you, Indra,” Lexa declared as she rubbed her nose. “Everyone here. You are my family. My crew.”

“And I do not understand that,” Indra responded. Lexa gave her a confused look. “You were brought to me and I accepted you. But I know someday that you will be taken away. That is why I let you be yet you didn’t want to leave.” Indra smiled. “You do those ridiculous things you do in the forest and spout off things from your dreams. Everyone shuns you because of that. But you still didn’t want to leave.”

Lexa blinked then looked down. “No one will adopt me.”

“Because you do not want them to,” Indra responded as she took Lexa's chin and lifted it. “Like Anya. Like Lincoln. Ryder and Tris stay because of you. they all look up to you.” Dark eyes bored unto green ones. “Why Lexa?”

“Because…” Why? Why does she stay? “Is it enough to say that I like it here?”

Indra's face was unreadable for a moment then she chuckled. “I think it is.” Indra grabbed something from her pockets. “Here.”

Lexa accepted the box then opened it.

“You were sick on your birthday. I was supposed to give this to you,” Indra explained.

Lexa took the object out. It was a watch. More of a man’s watch. It was silver and shiny  and looked expensive. Lexa traced the outline. “Is this from my parents?” she asked in awe.

“It was with you when you were brought here,” Indra simply replied.

Lexa tapped the glass. “It’s not working.”

“Must have run out of battery.”

“Oh.”

“Lexa" Lexa looked up at her charge. “You’re already sixteen. You are young. But you keep on running. You run when someone wants to adopt you. You run when you get hurt. You run when you have your dreams.” Indra pursed her lips. “It is your dreams that is bothering you, right? Was it about Clarke Griffin again?”

“No…” Lexa shook her head. “The Commander.”

“You see the Commander with your face,” Indra said and Lexa nodded. “You do not want to be her.”

“She is…not me, Indra.”

“She may or may not be you,” Indra started. “But she is part of you.”Lexa furrowed her brows.  “If you do not like who she is, then just accept her for what she is.” Indra shrugged. “You can be the Commander in your own pace.”

Lexa mulled the words in her head then hugged her foster mom. “Thank you, Indra.”

Indra just hugged her tighter.

The next day, Lexa stood before the three boys. Paul took a step back and crossed his arms.

 “I’m sorry.”

“All is forgiven,” Sam responded quickly with a nod. “Welcome to the Pack, Lexa.”

 “Now for initiation!” Jared cut in as he pointed at the pack tribal tattoo at his upper arm.

Lexa eyed the tattoo with curiosity then chuckled. “Indra is going to kill me and you.”

Sam and the other two boys paled at that.

 

* * *

 

Lexa was not popular.

She was the crazy foster kid who ran around in the woods and climbed trees for a living and cuddled with cats and had to go to therapy because her imaginary friend named Clarke can’t leave her alone.

She was the broody, serious kid who ate homework for lunch and busying herself being the teacher’s pet.

She was the girl who followed the badass Anya and clung to Leah when Anya went off to college.

But after she shifted into a giant wolf, people started taking notice of her.

First was because of her height. Not every 16 year old female who was smaller than average in her younger years shot up into almost a 6 footer.

Next was because of her more defined muscles and hew new tattoos. Indra was somewhat livid when she saw the ink and Lexa was forced to doing her siblings’ chores for months. But whenever she jogged or do her chores outside, people stare in awe and pause to stare at her.

Then, everyone noticed her affiliations with Sam Uley, Paul Lahote, and Jared Cameron. Everyone seemed to be fine with Sam because he was Leah’s boyfriend and Jared was a nice boy but not Paul. The Paul who Lexa had a war with since the day they met. The Paul who Lexa releases her cats to. The Paul who ridiculed all of the Woods foster kids.

So Lexa became popular and Lexa kind of hated it.

She was used to being left alone. She had her own close knit of friends and her siblings and Indra. But now, everyone seemed wanted to be her friend.

At school, Lexa would now get hellos from classmates who didn’t even acknowledge her before. She would get party invites, contact numbers, and even love letters. Brave boys would catcall her and girls would be touchy-feely whenever they talk to her.

Lexa found it…uncomfortable and embarrassing.

So she did what she was best at. Run and hide.

‘Why are you here, Alexandria?’ Clark landed inside the treehouse and perched beside her.

Lexa hugged her knees closer. “Everyone wants to be my friend.”

Clark licked one of his paws. ‘Isn’t that a good thing?’

Lexa shivered at the unwelcomed touches and catcalls. “No.”

On one of their daily meetings, Lexa asked the boys how they dealt with being popular.

"You don’t like it?” Paul laughed out loud. “You could get all the boyfriends you like!”

“Or girlfriends.” Jared cut in with his boyish smile. “If that’s what you’re into. Right?”

“Stop it. Both of you,” Sam ordered as he sat down beside Lexa. “When I first shifted, it was the same. Everyone suddenly wanted to be my friend because I was different.”

Lexa glanced at her Alpha. “How did you manage?”

Sam scratched the back of his neck. “I just stopped noticing.”

“What don’t you ask your Clarke?” Paul mocked and got a rock thrown at him by Sam.

For the first time, Lexa heeded Paul’s taunting.

She asked Clarke.

Or tried to.

But her dreams only showed her of the Commander. The Commander was already special at birth because of her black blood. Lexa was not special like that.

So she followed Sam’s advice. Lexa tried and failed to stop noticing.

There were times she wanted to growl and snap but she reigned in herself and just looked down and went her way.

In the Woods house, no one really made it a big deal. Indra waved it off as hitting puberty but she was still angry at the tattoos.

Jake and Seth both had their jaws wide open and cheeks red as a tomato when they saw Lexa.

Leah looked Lexa up and down with wide eyes.

“Wow.” Leah whistles. “That’s a new way to hit puberty.” Leah probed the tattoo on Lexa’s right shoulder. “Sam has this, too.”

Lexa took a step back. “I’m part of his mountain climbing crew.” Lexa grimaced internally. Better stick to one lie all the way.

Leah grimaced. “That group he’s always hanging out with?” Lexa nodded. “You get sick then you joined those steroid-taking men.” Leah was getting angry and Lexa felt guilty. “Are you high? Does Indra know of this?”

“We’re not taking drugs.” Lexa tried to smile. “I just…I just wanted to go mountain climbing.”

“I know Sam is lying to me about many things since last year and I know you are, too, Lexie.” Lexa flinched at the nickname. “I’m going to find out.”

Leah was angry but she still talked to Lexa. But every now and then, Leah would ask questions about Sam and his ‘mountain climbing crew’. Lexa would bring up a new topic. Leah would bring it back to Sam. Lexa would continue with her topic. Leah would still bring up Sam. In the end, Lexa would shut up leaving all topics in the air.

One school day, Lexa met with Leah in the library.

“Heya, Leah,” Lexa greeted as she dropped her bag and started to bring out her books.

“Hey, Lexie,” Leah greeted back as Lexa groaned at the nickname. “Homework?” Lexa nodded. “Then welcome to my humble spot.” “No mountain climbing today?”

Lexa sighed heavily and buried herself in her books. Leah snickered and went back to her books.

They studied in silence. Leah really wanted to go to a good university outside of La Push and she was a fine student with top grades and scholarships already in her reach. Lexa would sulk heavily if Leah left next school year for college like Anya.

“Hi, Lexa.”

Lexa was startled and looked up and saw another girl. “Hi.”

“We’re classmates in history class,” the girl said.

Lexa nodded. “I know.”

“Well, I was wondering if we could study together,” the girl offered while hugging her books against her.

Lexa frowned. “Are you having difficulty in the subject?”

The other girl fidgeted. “Uhm… Yeah?”

“Okay.”

“Really?” Lexa nodded again. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” then the girl ran away as quietly as possible.

When Lexa faced back, she was greeted by Leah’s raised brow.

“What?”

“I think she was trying to ask you on a date, Lex,” Leah deadpanned.

“Huh?”

“Date,” Leah repeated.

“Why?”

“Have you seen you?” Leah asked in disbelief. “You’re taller than me now. Your muscles are more defined!” The older girl pointed out in exasperation. “We train together, Lexa, and I don’t have those definition.” Leah proceeded to poke Lexa’s biceps. “And let’s face it, Lexa. Your jawline can cut anything.”

Lexa didn’t look convinced and consciously touched her jaw. “You have a defined jaw line, as well, Leah.”

“Not as fine as yours, kiddo.”

Lexa still didn’t look convinced.

“She’s pretty, Lexa,” Leah commented with a confused expression. “You are gay, right?”

Lexa frowned deeper. “I don’t know.”

“Do you like boys?” Lexa pursed her lips. “Girls?”

Lexa sighed as she played with her pen. “I don’t know, Leah.”

“But you do like Clarke, right?” Lexa blushed. Leah smirked. “Well, I can only guess that you like girls enough to date them.” Leah leaned closer. “Don’t you want to date? You’re already sixteen. Anya dated even younger. I know Indra’s not that strict with dating.”

“It just didn’t cross my mind…”

Lexa knew Leah was watching her closely. “Why?”

Why, indeed?

First, no one even liked her because she was the crazy foster kid.

Second, if she dated other, would it be cheating Clarke?

Third…

“ _Kostia_.”

 

_The girl with tight braids of raven hair was running._

_Shouts from behind were heard but the young Commander-to-be kept on running._

_When she entered the woodsy area, she started climbing the first sturdy tree she saw._

_"You’re a lousy tree climber.”_

_The bewildered girl’s head shot up and saw another girl at the adjacent tree. The girl’s lips turned down in a frown. “I am not.”_

_“You are.” The other girl smirked. “And I thought Heda was special.”_

_“I am special but I am not Heda.”_

_The other girl hummed. “Well, you will be,”_

_"You don’t know that.” The girl in braids looked at her hands. “I think Luna will be the next Heda.”_

_“You don’t know that.”_

_Green eyes narrowed. “You are annoying.”_

_“I only speak true.”_

_“What is your name?”_

_“Ai laik Kostia kom Triku.”_

_“Ai laik Leksa kom Triku.”_

_“When time comes, I will serve you Leksa,” the other girl said with conviction._

_The girl in braids rolled her eyes. “By serve - annoy me to death.”_

_The other girl, Kostia, grinned. “I will try, Leksa.”_

 

Leah’s face furrowed in confusion. “Costia?”

“In my dreams.”

Leah pursed her lips. “I thought it was Clarke.”

Lexa felt a rumble of a growl grow within her chest. “Can we not talk about this?” she snapped.

Leah opened her mouth then closed it. “Okay.” Then they went back to their respective books.

But that night, Lexa knocked on the Clearwater’s residence.

 “I don’t know if I could love,” Lexa blurted out as Leah answered the door. “Costia died.”

Leah was a bit startled at the sudden information but kept calm when Lexa was slightly shaking. “She died because you loved her?” Lexa nodded and Leah looked at the younger girl with an incredulous expression. “How about Clarke? Don’t you love Clarke, as well?”

Lexa heaved a quivering sigh. Leah stepped closer and rubbed Lexa’s back. “I think I died because I loved Clarke,” Lexa whispered.

“These dreams are starting to get crazier,” Leah muttered with a shake of the head.

Lexa kept silent and let Leah rub her back.

The following night, Lexa was at the Clearwater’s front door again.

“It was a date, wasn’t it?” Leah asked knowingly.

Lexa just let Leah rub her back again.

As if on cue, Leah’s phone rang. It was Anya. Lexa scowled. Anya always had perfect timing.

Leah gave Lexa a comforting smile but Lexa was not comforted at all especially when Leah answered in speaker mode form and started spilling out the current gossip.

“Lexa had a date,” Leah informed with a nudge at Lexa.

Anya scoffed. _“She did not!”_

“Yeah. But it was a date-not-date-but-it-is-a-date.”

Anya laugh out so loud the speakers cracked with static.

“It’s not funny, Anya!” Lexa said indignantly.

 _"It is!”_ Anya refuted. _“Are you gonna have another date-date, Lex?”_

Lexa bristled. “ _Shop of, Anya._ ”

The line was silent for a moment. “ _Moba, Heda_.”

Lexa and Leah looked at each other then back at the phone.

“What?”

“What?”

 _“Anyway,”_ Anya was still snickering. _“Good luck with your next date-not-date-but-it-is-a-date, Lexa.”_

Lexa hung up.

 

* * *

 

Lexa had never been so angry in her life.

She remembered how the Commander got angry at the most minimal of things and Lexa channeled that anger.

Her skin itched and burned but Lexa kept on running in human form.

She didn’t need the wolf. She just needed herself and her two bare hands.

Lexa tore inside the Uley house. Mrs. Uley was completely terrified. Sam was as well.

“You cheated on Leah!” Lexa growled out as soon as she saw the Alpha.

“It wasn’t my fault!” Sam shouted back. “Emily’s my Imprint!”

“That’s not an excuse!”

“What? What could I have said? ’Hey, Leah. I turn into a wolf and it imprinted on your cousin. I’m sorry?’”

“Better than saying nothing at all!” Lexa pushed Sam who fell down by the force. “Tell Leah everything.”

 “I can’t.” Sam looked helpless as Lexa towered him. “She’s not part of the pack.”

Lexa left the Uley house with Sam on his knees and his face black and blue.

When she arrived back at the Woods house, her knuckles were no longer bleeding but her face was still stony and her eyes dimmed with anger. Tris saw her and tried to say hello but whimpered at the sight and hid behind the couches. Lincoln choked on his drink and muttered some excuse about going to the Black house and scampered off with Ryder in tow. Indra was the only one who faced Lexa with a calm expression and a wet towel.

“Punching the boy did nothing,” Indra said as Lexa accepted the cloth and started whipping her knuckles.

“ _Blood must have blood_ ,” Lexa muttered darkly. “It’s a good thing I did not punch him where it will hurt more.”

Indra took the cloth when Lexa was finished and regarded the raging girl. Lexa was slightly shaking and she clenched her fists to stop from shifting. “Blood must not always have blood when there’s a way to solve things,” the older woman advised then left Lexa alone.

Lexa closed her eyes and did breathing exercises to calm herself.

 

_“Show my people you can be merciful,” Clarke Griffin said as she gave the Commander a desperate look.  “Show them that you are not a savage.”_

_The Commander was calm. Her face set. But her eyes grew weary. “We are what we are.”_

 

Lexa opened her eyes and sighed deeply. She went outside the house and into her workshop inside the makeshift garage. She picked up a block of wood and started carving.

She thought her day would start well.

But one call from a hysterically sobbing Leah was not what she expected to receive.

Lexa had a suspicion about Sam and Leah’s relationship. Sam would be indifferent about Leah. Leah would be sulking and almost desperate about Sam.

Lexa had always seen the two happily in love. Anya used to call them saps and sickening together.

But ever since Lexa knew of Sam being a Shifter, the two would be seldom seen together. At bonfire nights even at the Clearwater house. Sam would not visit anymore. Sue and Seth looked worried. Harry was quiet and seemed to know what was happening,

Then Emily visited.

Lexa knew Emily as the Clearwater’s relative from another Tribe. But Lexa seldom interact with the girl. But Leah was always happy whenever Emily visited. They were close cousins. Almost sisters.

But Emily caused the rift.

Instead of following Leah, Sam was now seen following Emily whenever she went.

People were talking. Gossips flying around.

At pack meetings, Paul would bring up about Emily and Sam would have a dreamy look at his face until Paul commented how Emily was sexier than Leah and the meeting ended with Paul nursing a broken nose and a raging Sam barking orders left and right. Lexa looked at Jared who only shrugged.

Then Lexa received the phone call.

Sam cheated Leah with Emily.

A sudden sting brought Lexa out from her thoughts. She looked at her pointer finger and saw it bleeding. She dropped her carving knife and sucked her bleeding finger.

A quiet knock was heard and Lexa turned to see Seth Clearwater by the entrance of the makeshift garage.

“Something wrong, Seth?”

“Leah’s being rude,” Seth grumbled.

Lexa paused. Leah being rude was not surprising. But Leah being rude to her little brother was surprising.

“She’s sick so double rude,” he added.

Lexa stilled.

“Sick…like flu sick?”

“Yeah. Mom’s freaking out a bit,” Seth replied with a nod. “Leah’s fever isn’t breaking and she’s so hot to touch. Even ice cold sponge bath doesn’t work.” Seth crossed his arms. “I think she’s so stressed about Sam cheating on her then college exams.” The boy clearly looked helpless. “I don’t know what to do and Leah’s been shouting and breaking things. Anya’s not around and Emily’s out of the question now and Sam a dick. I think she’s only listen to you now.”

“I need to go,” Lexa suddenly declared and pulled Seth up by the arm. “We need to go.”

“W-Wha-?”

Lexa didn’t let him finish and ran towards the Clearwater house with Seth catching up with her.

As they neared the household, Lexa’s fears were coming true.

Loud voices were heard a mile from the house.

“I told you I don’t want to eat dinner!”

“Leah, I know you’re sick that’s why you need to eat to get some strength!” Sue countered desperately.

“Why don’t you listen to me?!” Leah boomed.

“Leah, don’t talk to your mother like that.” Harry’s voice joined.

An animalistic growl was suddenly heard.

Lexa ran faster leaving Seth behind then she busted through the door. Sue was greatly startled she fell back on her behind. Harry took a few shaky steps backward with eyes wide and mouth agape.

“Leah!”

Said girl was shaking uncontrollably. Growled slipped from her clenched teeth.

It was clear.

Leah was shifting.

Leah was also a La Push Shifter.

Lexa suddenly felt the desire to control the older girl.

 

_"You are Heda.”_

She raised one hand up. “Leah. Calm down.”

Leah shook her head, clearly confused. “Get away, Lexa!”

“Seth.” Lexa turned to the boy who just arrived. “Get your parents out of here. Quick.”

“B-But-”

“Now!” Lexa growled out.

Seth jumped in fright and scrambled towards his parents and pulled them to the direction of the back door.

“Leah?” Lexa turned back to the older girl. “You need to calm down before you explode.”

“I-I can’t!” Leah was terribly shaking. Lexa knew the other girl was feeling feverish and angry and confuse. “Why does Dad need to defend Sam?! Sam cheated on me!”

“Leah.”

“And Mom! Mom keeps on pushing! I don’t want to eat!”

“Leah.“

“I-I-” Leah’s eyes were wide and scared and Lexa saw the glimpse of the frightened girl beneath the raging form.

“It’s okay, Leah,” Lexa said calmly. “Just hold my hand and follow me.”

The other girl shakily reached out and clasped Lexa’s hand.

Lexa led them out and strode off towards the forest.

After a few minutes of walking, they stopped.

“L-Lexa?” Leah panted. “I-It’s so hot and I don’t feel so good…”

“Listen to me, Leah.” Lexa took a few steps backward. “Just breathe and let go.”

“W-What?“

“Breathe and let go.”

Leah furrowed her brows. “Like Elsa?”

Lexa nodded. “Yeah. Let it go!”

Leah did just that and she exploded.

Lexa slightly cringe.

She heard the bones crack and pop and she felt the intense heat of the shift.

Now in front of her was a grey wolf.

Leah was as big as her in wolf form but was slightly leaner.

Wolf-Leah whimpered and shakily stood up in four legs and stared at her with wide brown wolfish eyes.

Lexa shifted. Clothes be damn.

Leah yipped and fell down on her hind. **L-Lexa? What- What is going on?!**

Lexa sat on her hind. **I’d like to ask the same question when I first shifted** , she replied wryly.

 **What-** Leah stopped circling. **The stories are true?**

**I believe it is.**

**This is so cool at the same time so scary.**

**Want to go on a run?**

**Race you?**

Lexa howled then shot off with Leah at her heels.

The two ran across the forest with happy yips and howls.

After hours of roaming around and showing Leah what their shifted skin could do, it was time for them to go home and that meant shifting back to human form.

 **This might be awkward** , Lexa informed wryly.

**Why?**

Lexa felt herself blush. She was grateful that her wolf fur hid it. **When we shift back, we’ll be naked.**

 **Oh…** Then Leah gave a sly grin a wolf could give. **Don’t worry Lexa, I bathed you when you were younger, ‘ya know?**

Lexa butted her head against Leah. **That was years ago, Leah.**

**I know you’re gay as a gay could be, I’m rather confident with this.**

Lexa growled lowly. **Mockery is not a product of a strong mind.**

**Alright, stop being grumpy. Just tell me how to shift back.**

Lexa stopped walking and sat on her hind. Leah looked back at her with a tilted head.

**Before we shift back, I have bad news for you…**

**What could be bad news other than turning into an overgrown fur ball then shifting back naked?**

Lexa whined softly. **Sam is the Alpha of the pack.**

The whole reservation winced at the sudden loud howl.

At the Uley house, Sam and Mrs. Uley choked and shivered uncontrollably. Emily glanced at them worriedly.

“What’s wrong?” Emily touched her Imprintee’s arm.

Sam shook his head. “Someone’s gonna kill me.”

“What?”

“I think I need to hide.”

Emily stared at Sam for good two second then sighed as she picked up her fork and resumed eating.

“It’s Leah, isn’t it?”

“Maybe.”

“You should really hide.”

“Would you help me?”

“I think you’re on your own in this one.“

Sam sighed dejectedly. “Okay…”

 

* * *

 

Lexa was a bit happy when she wasn’t the only girl in the pack.

Only a bit.

Because Leah was insufferable.

Leah was a literal bitch.

If Lexa was a little shit, Leah was a grade-A bitch.

Lexa and the other pack mates understood that Sam cheated on Leah.

Leah just fumed and seethed and damaged anything she could lay her hand on or wreak havoc in the forest trails resulting to spooked wildlife and fallen trees.

Sam looked like a kicked puppy with his tail between his legs.

Lexa didn’t look thrilled at their pack’s Alpha.

Paul punched a tree with a loud crack. “Just shut up, Leah!”

Sam gave a warning growl but Lexa beat him on reprimanding. “Paul.”

“She just wouldn’t shut up!” Paul rounded on Lexa but he kept his distance. “You’re lucky you can block pack link.”

Lexa glanced at her other pack mates.

Sam still looked like a kicked overgrown puppy.

Jared looked like he didn’t care about the drama.

Their newest addition Quill V looked scared and traumatized probably at Leah’s thoughts.

Lexa sighed. She couldn’t agree more.

 

* * *

 

Lexa was currently in her room reading when a whirlwind called Leah barged in.

“Sam is such an asshole!”

Lexa sighed and bookmarks her book. “You do not mean that.”

“I do!” Leah insisted. “I get it. Imprinting on Emily was not his choice but he should have told me before he fucked my cousin!”

Lexa’s face winced at the rude words. She looked up from her book and eyed her friend.

Leah was Anya’s best friend. Lexa knew if Anya was here in the reservation, the blonde would have kicked off Sam from the highest cliffs without care in the world.

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

Leah looked at Leah with wide eyes. “No!”

“What should I do to make you less…angry?”

“I just wanted to have a normal life, Lexa,” Leah sighed. “I wanted to go to college and marry Sam and have babies.” Leah sniffed and rubbed her eyes. “I can’t do anything of that now.”

Lexa could just sympathize. When has her life turned into a drama? “I’m sorry, Leah.”

Leah sighed. “I’m sorry, too, Lex...”

The two stared at the ceiling of Lexa’s room for a few beats of silence.

“What if you met your Imprint?” Leah whispered. “Could you love them?”

 

_“I also lose a loved one.” The Commander started. Clarke Griffin took her eyes away from the pyre. “Her name was Costia.” The Commander continued, her voice tight. “She was taken from me because she was mine.” A hand went to the dagger’s hilt out of habit. “The Ice Queen chopped off her head and had it delivered to my bed.”_

_Clarke flinched and bowed her head. “I’m sorry…”_

_"I thought I would never get over the pain. But I did.”_

_“How?”_

_“For recognizing it for what is was.” The Commander glanced at the blonde then back at the pyre. “Weakness.”_

_Clarke’s brows furrowed. “What is? Love?” The Commander nodded. “So you just stopped caring about everyone?” The Commander was silent. Clarke scoffed as she shook her head. “I could never do that.”_

_The Commander stared at the dying pyre. Green eyes looked dazed but her words were clear. “Then you put the people you care about in danger.”_

 

“I don’t know…” Lexa replied quietly. “I don’t know if I could have the right to be happy…”

Leah frowned. “Everyone has the right to love.”

Lexa clenched her fists tighter until she could feel her nails dug into the skin of her palms. “I don’t think I do.”

 

* * *

 

Often times, she wished she could do what the Commander would do.

Well, knowing the Commander, she would just kick off the nuisances in her life off a balcony.

Lexa smiled a bit at that.

Anya would have loved that thought.

Then Lexa groaned.

Where was Anya when she needed her?

Anya was better off taking care of Leah and beating off Sam into a pulp.

But Anya was not here so Lexa was alone to figure things out.

Lexa has always been a good girl. Or she always strived to be a good girl. Leah was one of the people who didn’t look down at her because she was an orphan and had to go to therapy sessions because of an imaginary friend who didn’t leave her. Leah was a friend and Lexa tried to be a good friend.

So Lexa went to the source of the problem.

The Uley house was one of the biggest in the reservation. Being one of the founding clans and operating the main tourist restaurant were one of the reasons. Joshua Uley – albeit a poor excuse of a husband and a father - was a charming man and a good businessman and left his wife and sons with a source of income.

After shifting and forced to join the Pack, Lexa was a regular at the Uley house. Mrs. Uley was soft-spoken and treated the Pack like her sons and daughters but was still warry of Lexa ever since Lexa punched the daylights out of her son.

Lexa went in the house and was hit by the scent of cooking. She went straight to the kitchen and cleared her throat.

Emily looked up with a smile then it slowly turned down at the unexpected sight. “Hello, Lexa,” Emily greeted with a hesitant smile.

“Heya, Emily,” Lexa greeted back as she entered the kitchen fully.

Lexa had met Emily before in many occasions. The older girl usually visited La Push every school break and played with Leah and Anya.

Emily was plainly beautiful even in their youth.

Even though romanticism was not Lexa’s main priorities in life, she found Emily pretty. Like Leah. Like Anya.

The scar that Sam left didn’t mar the beauty the older girl exuded.

Emily’s kind smile and happy disposition replaced the ugly scar given by a reckless boy.

Lexa was there with the Pack – minus Leah – was in the Uley house for a meeting when Emily arrived and confronted Sam. She knew about the inevitable Imprinting and accepted it but she felt guilty on what they have done to Leah and she wanted to break up with Sam. Things spiraled out of control with Leah’s name mixed with Sam’s father thrown into the mix and Sam raged and shifted. Emily got the scar. Case closed.

“How are you?”

“Still in pain but I’ll get over it.” Emily replied as she busied herself with the food preparations.

Since Sam imprinted on Emily, she started staying at the Uley house and started learning the ins and outs of the Uley business. Her other role was also the designated cook for the La Push pack.

“How is Leah?”

Lexa thought about her fellow Shifter and her brows slightly furrowed. “Still a…pain.”

Emily laughed. “You can’t always be polite, Lexa.”

“I try not to be rude,” Lexa responded seriously.

“Leah’s cool but has a bad temper,” Emily commented. “I say my condolences to Uncle Harry and Aunt Sue as much as I can.”

They both laugh at the joke.

Then they grew silent.

Only the chopping of the vegetables and sizzle in the pan were heard.

“I’m not proud of what happened,. Emily broke the silence. “I wished it didn’t happen.” She let go of the knife and sighed heavily. “But I love Sam and I don’t have any choice about that.”

 

" _Emotions will be your downfall, Leksa.”_

Lexa blinked and looked at Emily who stared at her the vegetables on her chopping board with a forlorn look.

It wasn’t only Leah who got hurt. Emily got hurt about the Imprinting, as well.

Everyone saw Leah being the victim.

But Emily was also.

Emily knew Sam and Leah since they were children. Emily didn’t have any romantic interests with Sam. Everyone had seen how Sam was devoted to Leah and vice-versa.

Emily was innocent.

Until Sam shifted into a wolf.

 

_“I thought you cared.”_

_“Love is weakness.”_

Lexa gnashed her teeth and stood up.

Emily was startled at the sudden movement and looked up.

“We may not have a choice, but it already happened. We must not face the past but look forward.” Lexa nodded to herself. “And you must not feel shame because how much Fate has ruined possible academic futures and relationship for everyone in this pack – to love is not wrong.”

 

_“Love is not weakness, Lexa.”_

“Sam loved Leah but his Wolf Spirit must have always belonged to you.” Lexa placed a comforting hand on Emily’s shoulder. “Leah will find her own Imprint. She will not be alone.”

“You won’t leave her?” Emily had tears in her eyes. “Will you always be her friend, Lexa?”

“Of course, I will,” Lexa replied with conviction. “No part of the crew is left behind.” Lexa shrugged. “Well, pack.”

“Thank you, Lexa,” Emily said as she hugged the younger girl tightly.

 

_“Because, love is strength.”_

 

* * *

 

“You should have been the Alpha, Lexa,” Leah seethed as she slump beside Lexa on the log.

Lexa looked a bit disgruntled at the sudden intrusion as was Clark who mewed loudly. Her coalition of cats circled around Leah and simultaneously yowled for attention. “Why?”

Leah started petting each cat. “You’re better, Lexa.”

Lexa scoffed as she went back to her carving. “We don’t know that.”

“I know.” Leah was determined. “You’re Commander of the kitties since you were 9. Longest living Commander.”

“The only Commander, you should say,” Lexa puffed out her chest with pride. Clark agreed.

“You can handle a bunch of overgrown wolves without a problem!” Leah exclaimed and began to enumerate. “You were able to Shift and learn without the guidance of Sam. You can control and hide your thoughts without problem. You can even deny the Alpha command!”

“I don’t think the Council will approve of me being the Alpha.” Lexa deflated. “I just turned 16, Leah. Sam is older. And he’s a male.”

“You were 9 when you became Commander of these kitties and chased Paul and his cronies, Lexa!” Leah continued to argue. “And fuck male domination!”

“I’m not the Alpha, Leah,” Lexa sighed. “I’m happy being the only Commander of the kitties.” She brushed her palm at Clark’s fur. “I’m happy whatever my position in the pack right now.”

“We’re in the bottom, Lexa.” Leah stared hard at Lexa. “Are you happy with that?”

There was a twitch of annoyance at Lexa’s lips. Her fists clench at the words.

 

_“You’re the Commander.” Titus drilled those words into the young girl in braids. “Your word is law.”_

But, she wasn’t the Commander here how much her dreams told her she was.

She wasn’t Leksa.

“Yes. I’m happy.”

 

* * *

 

It was a chilly night and Lexa decided to do her wood work at the Woods house’s front porch.

She was sitting at the porch stairs when she heard footsteps and smelled the scent of one Jacob Black.

Clark beside her yowled softly before succumbing to sleep.

“You look clean, Jacob,” Lexa looked up and commented with a smirk.

“You’re one to talk Ms. I-got-cat-hair-and-wood-chips-all-over-my-clothes,” Jake snarked back. Lexa just stared at him and he sighed. “Pop’s wants me to tell Bella something. So I’m crashing Forks High’s Prom Night just to tell her to stay away from the Cullens.”

Lexa paused at the family name. “Billy still can’t get over the stories of the Cold Ones?”

“Yeah. Pain in the ass,” Jake scratched the back of his head. “But I get 10 bucks so…”

Lexa waved her hand in dismissal. “Take care, Jake. Don’t be long.”

“Aye, Commander.” Jake grinned and gave a mock salute before going out.

After a few minutes from Jake’s departure, approaching footsteps were heard again. Lexa frowned but stood up and met Sam with Jared and Paul behind him.

“Lexa,” Sam greeted in his gruff tone.

Lexa gave a curt tilt of the head. “Sam.”

“We got a meeting with the Cullens this coming weekend,” he informed. “With Bella Swan in the picture, the Council wants to remind them of the treaty.”

“I understand.”

“You’re friends with the Swan girl, right?”

Lexa pursed her lips. “Yes.”

“Better if you persuade her to stay away from the Vampires,” Sam instructed. “I bet she’ll listen to you more than with Jake.”

“I think whatever Bella wants to do with her life, we let her be.” Lexa raise her chin higher. “We all know that she knows the Cullens are Vampires.”

“We must protect the humans from those leeches,” Sam bristled.

“No.” Lexa shook her head. “We protect our own tribe from the Cold Ones, Sam,” she reminded. “That’s why our ancestors gained the power to shift to protect our own people.”

“Are you saying that we’re just going to let them be friends with the Swan girl because she’s not our people?” Sam bristled and Lexa growled lowly. “What if she gets hurt because of them? Wheat if they hurt Chief Swan?”

 

                _“I am saving my people.”_

_A hand grabbed the Commander’s and blue eyes were full of fury. “But what about mine? My people are in there, too!”_

_The Commander gently pulled her arm back. Green eyes were full of regret. “I am sorry, Clarke. But my duty is to my people.”_

“I’m not saying that we should ignore the Swans or the other residents of Forks,” Lexa refuted. “It is still Bella’s decision if she wants to continue seeing the Cullens. We can’t take that away from her because she already knows the risks even way before us.”

 

" _If I could take the pain, I would have. But I am Heda first. My people comes first.”_

_Clarke Griffin crossed her arms tightly. “You still left me, Lexa. You betrayed me.”_

_The Commander’s shoulders dropped a bit. “I am sorry, Clarke.”_

_The blonde scoffed and turned away. “I thought you cared?” Clarke whispered, hurt and abandoned._

Sam left with a glare and a raging Paul and an unamused Jared.

Lexa left her wood work and quickly went inside the house and shut the door. She slowly slid down until she hit the floor.

Her heart thudded painfully in her chest and Lexa felt she couldn’t breathe.

“Lexa? Lexa.”

Lexa blinked a few tears. “I-Indra?”

Strong hands lifted Lexa from the ground and brought her towards the couch. “Breathe, Lexa.”

“I c-can’t.”

“You can.” Indra brushed Lexa’s hair out of her face. “You are strong. You are brave. You can, Lexa.”

After a few minutes of ragged breathing and soft murmurs, Lexa finally calmed down.

Indra wiped across Lexa’s forehead. “What happened?”

Lexa looked away. “Nothing.”

Indra clucked her tongue and grabbed Lexa’s chin to face her. “What did Clarke say to you?”

Lexa looked up at Indra who had a knowing look in her dark eyes. Indra always knew. Indra always understood.

Lexa gulped. “I betrayed her because that’s what’s best for my people.”

Indra stared at her for a moment. “Well, that is what a leader does,” she finally said, releasing Lexa’s chin. “Following their head than their heart.” Indra helped Lexa to stand up. “But that is you in your dream.” The older woman pointed and stabbed her finger against Lexa’s chest. “But, will _you_ follow your head, as well?”

 

* * *

 

Lexa was not close to Bella Swan.

Bella Swan was a quieter girl who visited La Push during the summer break when she was younger.

Lexa didn’t remember any conversation with the girl. She only remembered Jake ranting about the pretty Swan girl and from Chief Swan's stories.

Lexa and Bella had nothing in common.

Except now.

Lexa didn’t know if knowing about Vampires as a common interest was a good thing.

Lexa walked towards the Swan residence. It was quaint and clearly unmaintained.

She knocked on the door twice and waited.

Bella answered the door with a baffled expression.

“Lexa.” A beat. “Hey.”

“Heya, Bella,” Lexa greeted back. “Is Chief around?”

“Dad had an emergency at the station,” Bella replied. “Do you need something from him?”

“None.”

Lexa took a sniff and slightly grimaced. The pack usually complained about Vampire scent because it smelled like bleach and rotten dead animals. Lexa just thought Vampire scent was just too clean and sweet it burned her nose.

“Why are you here, Lexa?”

“Jacob talked to you last night?”

“Yes…” Bella crossed her arms. “Are you telling me to stay away from the Cullens, as well?”

“Yes and no,” Lexa sighed. “It’s still your decision, Bella.” Lexa regarded the Swan girl. “Did you remember the Tribe Legends Jake told you? The Cold Ones and the Wolf Spirit?”

“It’s all true.” Bella said it more of a statement than a question.

“Just be careful. And do not be stupid,” Lexa warned. “I like Chief Swan. He has been a friend since I was young.”

“Thank you,” Bella suddenly said with a faint blush in her cheeks. These were the times Lexa could see the resemblance of Chief Swan and his daughter. “For looking out for my Dad. When Mom and he split up, no one really supported Dad because he just stayed here.”

“He’s happy that you’re here,” Lexa informed with a small smile. “He fishes a lot when he’s happy.”

“I could still smell fish in my breath…” Bella grumbled. Lexa just smiled.

They talked for a few minutes.

Lexa was about to leave when she noticed the chess board with an unfinished game at the living room coffee table.

“I’m so winning that,” Bella stated proudly.

“I don’t know much about the game.” Lexa shrugged.

“A friend likes it too much,” Bella informed fondly. “Says it grounds her.”

Lexa perked at that. “Grounds?”

Bella shrugged. “She’s weird. Talks about space and medicine most of the time.”

Lexa just nodded and continued on leaving the house.

Lexa step out of the house and was half-way the driveway when her nose picked up on something interesting and out of place and turned to see not one but two Cullens.

One was a tall blonde male who had visible scars that made Lexa’s skin crawl and a small female with spiky black hair.

Lexa stared at them and they stared back at her.

The moment was broken when the Swan house’s door opened and Bella showed up at the door again.

Lexa stared at Bella. Bella stared at her.

“I know what I’m doing,” Bella said with all the conviction she could muster.

Lexa somewhat believed her.

Turning away, she noticed her right hand was settled on her hip.

“There’s no dagger there, Lexa Woods. You’re no Commander,” Lexa muttered to herself as she buried both of her hands into her jean pockets and walked home.

 

* * *

 

That weekend, Lexa woke up early. She ran a few miles and carved a few small wolf heads in her shop before going to the Clearwater house. When she got there, Leah was already waiting for her.

“Up early, Commander?”

“We have a meeting.”

Leah grumbled as she ran her fingers to her now shorter tresses. “Sam and his meetings.”

Lexa eyed the shorter hair of the older woman and toucher her own braids.

Should she cut her hair, as well?

Lexa frowned at her own thicker and shaggier fur.

“Don’t think about it,” Leah’s voice cut through her thoughts. “The pack tattoo already got you in trouble with Indra. Shorter hair will just get you back to Dr. Jackson.” Leah grinned. “I know you love Dr. Jackson.”

Lexa punched the other girl who howled in pain. “Shut up.”

“Besides, your shaggier mane gives you a more…wild look.”

“It’s heavy.”

“Deal with it, Commander.”

Lexa just sighed and they walked in silence towards the Uley house where most of the pack members were already there. Emily greeted them and offered breakfast. Leah mumbled about being full and walked over to an empty table.

“She will come around,” Lexa told Emily who just shrugged and handed Lexa a full plate.

After eating, the pack assembled and hiked towards the area where the boundary line was located.

“When the Cullens arrive, everyone should be in good behavior,” Sam started and gave each of the pack a glare.

“Why should we have a treaty with those leeches?“ Paul seethed.

“It is our way,” Sam replied calmly.

“But they’re the enemy!”

“We have no choice,” Sam responded with a bored tone.

“It is what’s best for our people.” Lexa added.

“Our people.” Paul turned towards Lexa. Jared and the other boys stepped backward. “You don’t even belong to the Quileute Tribe, orphan.”

“Hey!” Leah growled. “Lexa’s part of the pack. She belongs to us.”

Paul bristled and looked Leah up and down. “You’re not fucking her, are you?”

Leah’s eyes widened then lunged at Paul.

“Both of you stop it!” Sam’s voice boomed and the two Shifters flinched. “No one is fucking anyone.”

Jared chuckled as he watched by the sidelines with Embry and Quil V. “Are you sure about that, bro?” Sam glared at Jared who quickly backed away.

“We are going to meet the Cullens and renew the treaty,” Sam said as he glared at Paul. “I also heard that they have a new member. Meeting your enemies face to face is an advantage for battle.”

The other Shifters grumbled their responses.

Sam, Jared, and Paul were the only ones who wouldn’t shift when meeting the Cullens.

 **Are you excited?** Leah nudged Lexa.

Lexa huffed. **To meet the so-called Cold Ones?**

**Yeah. Meeting a Vampire is like…cool, right?**

**No.**

If Leah could roll her eyes, she would have. **You are the most boring person, Lexie.**

Lexa nipped at Leah’s tail. **Please stop calling me that.**

Leah growled playfully and nipped back.

Lexa of course evaded every attack.

They only stopped when Sam looked back at them with a fierce glare.

The Cullens arrived. Sam stalked forward and started talking about the treaty.

 **This is boring.** Leah grumbled before sitting down on her hind.

Lexa ignored her and focused on sitting straight and regal when she saw her.

Lexa couldn’t take her eyes off the blonde Vampire with the blue jacket and light crimson eyes.

She was different but Lexa could feel that this was her.

This was Clarke Griffin.

Her Clarke.

Or who Clarke was supposed to be to her in her dreams.

Lexa finally found her.

Clarke wasn’t an imaginary friend or made up character in her brain unlike Anya or those therapists would tell her.

Clarke Griffin is real and she had proof.

As if sensing her, Clarke looked at her and they were staring at each other.

This Clarke didn’t have those beautiful bright blue eyes or the slightly frightened mixed with an angry look she usually gave Lexa after the incident with the mountain but this was Clarke.

Still beautiful.

Still strong.

**Lexa?**

Lexa was startled out of her reverie. **Yes?**

Leah gave her a look. **The meeting’s finish.**

**Go ahead, Leah.**

**What’s the matter? Why are you staring at the Cullens?**

Lexa nudged her friend again. **Go home, Leah.**

Leah huffed. **You’re so telling me what’s happening** _, she grumbled and trotted away leaving Lexa alone._

Lexa kept her staring.

Clarke also stared back.

“What is she waiting for?” the largest member of the Cullens asked.

“Treats?”

“Must be guarding the border…”

“I can’t read her mind.”

“Wow, Eddie-boy. First, Clarky. Then Bella-bear. Now a wolf?” the large Vampire grinned, dimples full on display. “Your powers are flunking, dude.”

The Cullens one by one left.

Clarke gave her one last look before leaving as well.

Lexa’s chest ached and she let out a soft whine.

**Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go.**

But Clarke Griffin was gone and Lexa couldn’t help but let out a mournful howl.

Her legs itched to follow the blonde but she couldn’t so Lexa turned and went back to the Woods house.

Lexa expertly shifted back and pulled on her clothes that were tied at her ankle and climbed up to her room to not alert Indra or the other orphans.

When she landed at her room, she saw her friend who was lounging lazily at her bed.

“I found her, Clark!” Lexa whisper-yelled at friend. “I found Clarke!”

Clark blinked. ‘You found me?’

“No!” Lexa shook her head. “Clarke Griffin. Wanheda!”

Clark’s eyes brightened. ‘Congratulations, Alexandria. You finally found your Mate.’

“M-mate?” Lexa stammered as she sat down at her bed. Her heart seemed to beat faster. She placed her hand on her chest. Thinking about the blonde Vampire from earlier made her smile unconsciously. A soft mew startled Lexa and she looked down at her friend with wide eyes. “I Imprinted, didn’t I?” she whispered in awe.

‘Your smell is different than usual.’ The cat’s tail twitched. ‘And you are happier.’

“Thank you, Clark.”

‘I would like to meet the human whom I have been named after.’

“She’s not human…” Lexa groaned. That popped the bubble. “She’s a Cold One.”

Clark swatted Lexa at the face. Lexa evaded and frowned at him. ‘Pish posh. She’s still your Imprint.’

“The pack still doesn’t know about it,” Lexa informed in dread. “If Emily/Sam and Quil/Claire became an issue, mine would be international crisis worthy.” Lexa laid back until her back hit the mattress. A long sigh escaped her lips. “Why does Clarke have to be a Vampire…”

‘Listen, Alexandria.’ Clark hopped unto Lexa’s stomach. ‘There must be a reason why you are you and Clarke is Clarke. You may have never met Clarke if you are not part of the Quileute Tribe.’

Lexa blinked and stared in awe at her friend. “Why are you so wise, Clark?”

Clark proceeded to lick his paw. ‘I am what I am.’

Lexa plopped her head back at the bed. “So modest.”

Clark just meowed.

 

* * *

 

“I have a dilemma,” Lexa rushed as she picked up her friend who was peacefully lounging on Indra’s rocking chair at the porch. “How do I talk to Clarke?”

Clark didn’t look pleased. Blue eyes narrowed. ‘Just go to her.’

“It’s not that easy.” Lexa shook her friend. Clark let out a warning mew. “Vampire-Shifter don’t have an easy relationship.”

Clark was clearly getting annoyed. ‘Just go to her, Commander.’

“But how?” Lexa shook her friend harder. “I just can’t cross the border and knock at their door.”

‘You have commanded myself and my siblings for years, Commander.’ Clark lifted his paw. ‘You have devised countless of missions with 99.99%.’ Claws suddenly revealed. ‘Visiting your Mate is just a walk in a park.’

Lexa frowned at him.

Clark just swatted her face.

Lexa yowled and let him go.

Clark walked on with a flick of a tail and a pleased purr.

 

* * *

 

Lexa couldn’t thank enough on her ability to block off the pack link whenever she wanted.

After or even when she was not on patrol duty, Lexa would cross the border.

She knew it was risky and breaking a sacred treaty but she needed to see Clarke Griffin.

The dreams kept on coming to her more rapidly than before.

Indra and the other foster children were gotten woken up multiple times with Lexa’s cry from nightmares.

Anya was having enough from her after midnight calls.

Leah was noticing bags under her eyes.

Lexa was afraid Indra would send her back to therapy.

Dr. Jackson would be disappointed at her.

She needed to see Clarke Griffin.

Talk to her.

Hold her hand.

Be with her.

Maybe even kiss her-

Lexa blushed and shook her head.

The Commander and Clarke Griffin may be together in her dreams.

Her dreams told her that they were enemies then comrades then lovers before her death.

But in this reality, Clarke Griffin was Lexa Woods’ Imprint.

Lexa needed Clarke Griffin.

So she broke the treaty and sneaked her way in to the Cullen backyard.

The Cullens were a quiet bunch.

Carlisle Cullen ins and outs of the house were clockwork.

His ‘wife’ would be busy gardening and cooking at the kitchen when Bella Swan was visiting.

Bella Swan’s ‘boyfriend’ usually plays the piano or sulks in his room.

The couple Lexa met when she visited the Swan home were either cooped up in their room or driving out towards Forks.

The leggy blonde was always at the garage tinkering around under the hood.

Only the huge man was loud when playing his consoles.

Clarke Griffin would often accompany the other blonde Vampire and drinks from a bottle or accompany Bella Swan and they would play chess as the boyfriend would play the piano.

Lexa’s whole body itched.

She was somewhat jealous of Bella Swan.

Bella Swan had the privilege to be close to Clarke Griffin while Lexa was hiding away in fear of being caught and breaking the treaty and sending the two opposing factions in a war they wouldn’t know how to end.

Lexa suddenly felt fear wash over her.

Would she ever come close to Clarke Griffin?

Would Imprinting on Clarke Griffin meant for years of hiding and pining from afar?

At least the Commander was able to be with Clarke Griffin even for a little time. While Lexa Woods hung unto a tree like a monkey away from Clarke Griffin who was cozy with her Vampire family and Bella Swan.

“You can come down the tree now, you big raccoon.”

Lexa stiffened. Her sulking thoughts halted. She looked over and almost fell down her perch on the branch when she saw Clarke Griffin smiling directly at her with hand placed at the side of her hips.

Impossible.

In all her years, no one has ever found her in hide-and-seek.

She had the years of training from her cats on how to be stealthy and quiet.

The other Cullens didn’t even feel nor hear nor smell her presence.

Only Clarke.

“I could hear your heartbeat from here, raccoon!”

Lexa slightly frowned.

Why was she a raccoon? Did she look like a raccoon?

Lexa wiped her face with a hand and saw nothing.

Clarke didn’t call for her again but Lexa could hear the other Cullens move around.

Lexa sighed heavily.

It was now or never.

With practiced ease and also with the help of her skills as a Shifter, she jumped down the tree with a silent thud. She straightened up and started walking towards the Cullen house which was more of a glass mansion.

Her eyes roamed around.

The place was clean and looked well-cared.

Lexa inhaled deeply and started walking.

The Cullens one by one stood up from their seats and Lexa suddenly felt a spike of nervousness.

She was on enemy’s soil. One wrong move and she was going to be slaughtered here.

But Lexa believed the Elders were wrong. Her pack was wrong.

The Cullens were dangerous but not to humans. If Ephraim Black stuck a treaty with them then the Cullens were not monstrous as the tribe’s stories were. The Cullens were not the Cold Ones in the stories.

Lexa trusted her instincts and it told her the Cullens were harmless.

Clarke was harmless.

Coming closer, she could see Clarke Griffin clearer.

For 16 years, everyone thought she was crazy.

Lexa thought she was crazy.

Through the years, Lexa was plagued with her dreams. Dreams she couldn’t understand. Dreams that shouldn’t be seen by a child. Dreams that haunted her even when she was awake.

Lexa clung to the idea that she was a different person. That she wasn’t the Commander.

Lexa clung to the idea that she didn’t want to be the Commander. That she did the most normal things she could do. That she was a normal girl even though she knew she wasn’t the day she shifted into a wolf.

But only one thing was resolute.

There were a lot of people in her dreams, but Clarke Griffin was the only one she could remember.

Her face.

Her voice.

Her anger.

Her love.

Clarke Griffin was the first one to enter her dreams.

Clarke Griffin was also the last one she saw when she died in her dreams.

At first, Lexa didn’t understand why she dreamt of Clarke Griffin.

Clarke hated her.

Clarke also loved her.

But during their short time of knowing each other, Clarke didn’t like the Commander at all.

Clarke was forced to tolerate the Commander.

Clarke spit at the Commander in rage.

But Clarke still loved the Commander in the end.

It was still a mystery.

Lexa once asked Dr. Jackson why the Commander cared for Clarke Griffin even though the blonde girl was the reason of the Commander’s demise and also of the Coalition.

Even though the Commander believed the love was weakness.

Even though Clarke Griffin’s defiance from the death of the boy tied to the tree to protecting Skaikru due to Pike kom Skaikru’s coup d'etat.

The Commander still loved Clarke Griffin.

Dr. Jackson’s professional opinion was deep infatuation.

When Lexa looked at him skeptically, he gave his personal opinion.

“Sometimes, people have an instant connection,” Dr. Jackson said slowly as he closed his notebook. “You could instantly hate someone. You could instantly love someone, as well. Maybe that was what happened to the Commander and Ms. Clarke Griffin.”

Lexa’s face scrunched up. “Love at first sight?”

Lexa couldn’t forget the wide smile Dr. Jackson gave her.

Was it really love at first sight?

The Commander who shielded herself from love?

Clarke Griffin who believed in love but lose it since she came to the ground?

Lexa stopped by the end of the first step. She didn’t dare to step unto the stairs. Being on the ground helped her nerves.

She looked up and stared at the blonde in her dreams.

Clarke Griffin.

Gold hair. Strong jaw.

Lexa missed the blue eyes but this was her Clarke.

The Clarke of her dreams.

Clarke Griffin looked down at her.

Lexa looked up at her.

Sky and ground finally met again.

 

" _My fight is over…”_

_“Lexa.”_

_"Death is not the end.”_

_Clarke held unto her. Skaikru words began to flow out of her mouth while Titus mumbled his ritual._

_At the tense silence, Clarke gave out a loud sob._

_The Commander’s eyes were heavy and slowly closing._

_Clarke placed a last kiss at the cold bloody lips. “May we meet again.”_

“Lexa.”

Lexa felt herself stiffen at the voice. The same husky voice in her dreams.

No.

Not dreams.

She wasn’t crazy.

Clarke is real.

Memories.

It was all memories.

Finally. 

“Clarke.”

 

_We meet again._

 

* * *

 

Back at the Woods house, a watch’s second hand suddenly ticked to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not fond of this chapter. Maybe because when I was trying to write this, I was sick. It felt inconsistent in my mind. But maybe I wanted it to be that way?  
> Inconsistency was what happened to Lexa. She had suffered a lot since childhood. Her thoughts were always blurred between the line of of reality and her dreams. Calling her family her crew and her litter of cats her coalition. Even calling herself the commander at times then having a mental breakdown after. Lexa's mind was chaotic at times as she tried to be normal but she wasn't.
> 
> You might have noticed that there are alterations with the timeline in the Twilight events. I want to incorporate The 100's characters as much as I can into Twilight since most of the settings is happening in the Twilight Universe but if I follow Twilight cannon we will all be swept up by Edward-Bella-Jacob drama. That's why I let Clarke intervene with Bella's clumsiness and let Lexa intervene with Jacob's puppy love.
> 
> By the way...  
> Leah is one of my favorite characters in Twilight. She is underrated and so much potential other than be a the *assh*le* in the pack. I think you can be an assh*le when your longtime partner cheats on you even for good reasons. Cheating is still baaaadddd people...  
> Anya, on the other hand, is the one of the characters that was killed off too soon. She is Lexa's mentor and if Lexa is badass then Anya is twice of that.  
> So I made them best friends in this story just for the thrill. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, I hope y'all liked this chapter. :)  
> Thank you for reading! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the story! :)
> 
> I love The 100 - though I feel the premise is all The Walking Dead style where there is no solution to their piling problems from day 1. And Lexaaaaaa...
> 
> I love the Twilight series - though sparkly Vamps are weird AF and so many underrated characters...
> 
> Anyway, I left this as a one-shot in case I can't continue it as a series.  
> This story was just a nagging plot in my mind. The what-ifs of crossover/reincarnation thingies.  
> Let me hear what you think? :)  
> Thank you for reading! :)


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